Something Beautiful

Here at last we come to the end of this journey, and yet like all endings, this is really just a beginning. A journey is good for itself and doubly good because at the end of it you find yourself at home again. My life has been richer the last month because I carved out time to be intentional about enjoying my life.  My aim has not been to find a silver lining or attempt to find the good in every situation. Rather my aim has been to consciously choose to savor every situation whether it is good or bad. My desire has been to listen to my life and enjoy my life, holding things with open hands. My longing in all of this has been to be still in my life and truly live. I have done this and continue to do this imperfectly, but the point is not that I savor my life perfectly, but that I perfectly savor my life. I am a long way from having how we should live figured out, but I know that it should be abundant.  So here on the eve of All Saints Day, my benediction for you is tha...

Today, as I chop onions for chili and wash loads of laundry and bake cornbread and fill a bowl with candy for little trick-or-treat-ers, I embrace what is in this moment.  This moment is full of what has been. This moment is full of what is yet to be. This moment is full of the past, present, and future as one slips away, one is, and one is yet to be.  This moment is in itself an ending and a beginning. So as I dry laundry and match socks and read words, I hold this moment with open hands accepting what is here. *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

Today I am rejoicing. My sweet, beautiful niece is one today! What an incredible gift God has blessed us with! And what a soothing balm that He sent her to us as He took away another dear one. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord! *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

A year ago, I spent the evening in an ICU room at the hospital. My grandpa was dying. The odd thing is that I had been planning to go visit him at the hospital that day after I got off work. I went home, went for a run, and had been planning to go visit him. My parents had left that morning after visiting my grandpa to go to Minnesota for the birth of my niece, and they had said that he looked good.  When I got in from my run, I had a missed call from my mom, and she told me that if I wanted to say goodbye to Grandpa I needed to go to the hospital right away. After I cried and cried, I drove the 45 minutes to the hospital as I cried some more.  Once at the hospital I saw my grandpa. Except it wasn't my grandpa. My grandpa was a strong, healthy, vibrant man. Not this weak, helpless man who couldn't breathe on his own. He didn't even recognize me. He just said: "I want to go home." And all I could say as I started crying yet again was, "You are going ho...

When on Tuesday your week has already gotten the better of you and your work and wedding planning are stressing you, oh, and your team is playing game 1 of the World Series, having a fiance who sends you flowers at work is just the best. He is a keeper!! I'm not really sure how I got so blessed, but I thank God for him every day.  *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

Last night my love and I booked a special trip in January. Just the two of us. Sun, sand, sea. I wish that it could be tomorrow. He wishes it could be tomorrow. But I know that if we were to just fast forward I would miss so many beautiful moments between now and then.  A savored life appreciates this moment, this day. It says that this moment matters and is valuable even if all that fills this moment is the mundane and ordinary. It says that this moment matters because if I look for it eternity is hiding in this moment.  So while I look forward to our warm vacation in the middle of the winter, I will look for eternity in the moments between now and then.  *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the end of this post. 

We took a detour this afternoon looking for a cemetery. We did find a cemetery for pets. It wasn't the one we were looking for. We didn't find the one we were looking for. As we were getting ready to leave, I looked over at some trees and the way the sunlight caught the yellow leaves in the wind they looked like a thousand yellow birds. I was caught in the beauty of the moment. I can see them even now in my mind: yellow leaves fluttering in the sunlight, dancing against the blue of the sky. It was a sweet gift to my tired spirit on this Sunday afternoon. It brought me rest on this Sabbath day. 

My Royals are back in the World Series. As I have enjoyed their postseason run, I have been drawn back to memories from last year.  My mom and I watched game 1 together, and we had contemplated going to watch it at my grandpa's house. How I wish that we would have. The day of that disappointing game 7 was the day we lost him.  It was also the day we gained my sweet, precious, beautiful niece. I am excited to celebrate the birthday of this precious life.  The ending of October holds many emotions for me. This year I am trying to just hold them all with open hands. I am letting myself weep when I want to, and I am letting myself rejoice when I want to. I am allowing myself to savor these emotions without calling some bad and some good.  *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post.  

The sky outside my window at work today was impossibly blue. A late October blue. It's not the rich blue of a summer sky, nor is it the pale blue of a winter sky. It dwells somewhere in the middle, flaunting its own particular shade of perfection.  And I just noticed today that the bushes next to the building next door have at last given up and become bright red, standing next to their evergreen counterparts as if smugly declaring that they get to change colors.  The beautiful weather continues to hold, fall lulling us into believing that winter won't come after all. And yet, the mornings are chill. The bushes are red. The sky is October blue. While I longer in this moment, I know that it isn't meant to last forever, but I also know I will never get this moment again.  So I revel in October blue skies and smug red bushes and a false sense of holding onto summer if only for this moment.  *to read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on th...

Have I mentioned that I love food? I think I may have before. I love to savor my food. A really delightful meal that has been well thought out and causes my tastebuds to dance ministers not just to my physical body, but also to my soul.  However, as much as I enjoy my food, I derive as much pleasure from creating just such a meal. One of my favorite things to do for myself is to stay in, make myself a "foodie" meal and really enjoy it.  Part of the savoring and the enjoyment is in the careful crafting of the meal. Part of the goodness of cooking is in the slowing down long enough to care for yourself and others in such a tangible way.  Because ultimately cooking and eating and food are fleeting things; they don't last. You can eat a meal, but you will get hungry again. Food spoils (at least it should if you are eating the good stuff). It can seem like such a waste to spend time and energy on the savoring of the preparation and eating of food. Why does it matter if w...