tears are a good thing

I can't ever remember a time when I cried a lot. Maybe I never felt there was anything to cry about, but at any rate I never remember crying much growing up. I think part of it had to do with growing up on a farm, and hearing "It's a long way from your heart."

At any rate, by the time I came to college I was very out of touch with my heart and my emotions and my desires. I think that all just became jumbled up and got so complicated that I didn't think I could deal with it, so I stopped trying. That was a bad idea.

I have since discovered that unless you live life from the heart it means nothing. I now want to live life so passionately for Jesus that sometimes it just aches inside of me. I used to tune out the ache, but that is also a bad idea. When my heart aches for Jesus that is a beautiful thing, and it will draw me closer to Him if I allow it to do its work.

Some of that work is learning to let myself cry. Tears, I have come to realize, can be a good thing, especially when they are poured out before God. In Psalm 61 (I think) it says that God puts my tears in His bottle. God sees me when I cry out to Him, and He cherishes that. In Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge he talks about how tears are liquid words. They are communication when I have no words left to speak, and I don't know what to say.

I lost it in church last Sunday. The night before and that morning had just really been a struggle of feeling attacked about running. And I probably sobbed for a good 5 minutes or so pouring out my heart to Jesus. And here is the beautiful thing - God didn't leave me hanging. My friend, H, came and prayed over me and lifted me up and comforted me during this time.

I walked away not necessarily with a completely happy heart, but rather with an incredible new perspective on the Body of Christ, the Church. This is why God commands us to not neglect the church, to continue meeting together. This is one of the reasons why we have the Body. They are there to lift us up and encourage us and be strong for us when we have no strength of our own. The church is meant to see our tears and come minister to our needs. Last Sunday I was on the receiving end of that, but I also have my chances to give back because that's what the body does.

Tears are good. They not only honor God, but often through our tears, we are brought new revelations. I am so glad that tears are coming more freely to me, and I continue to pray for them because they are an outward sign of a tender heart, and that is something I desire.