Something Beautiful

Here at last we come to the end of this journey, and yet like all endings, this is really just a beginning. A journey is good for itself and doubly good because at the end of it you find yourself at home again. My life has been richer the last month because I carved out time to be intentional about enjoying my life.  My aim has not been to find a silver lining or attempt to find the good in every situation. Rather my aim has been to consciously choose to savor every situation whether it is good or bad. My desire has been to listen to my life and enjoy my life, holding things with open hands. My longing in all of this has been to be still in my life and truly live. I have done this and continue to do this imperfectly, but the point is not that I savor my life perfectly, but that I perfectly savor my life. I am a long way from having how we should live figured out, but I know that it should be abundant.  So here on the eve of All Saints Day, my benediction for you is tha...

Today, as I chop onions for chili and wash loads of laundry and bake cornbread and fill a bowl with candy for little trick-or-treat-ers, I embrace what is in this moment.  This moment is full of what has been. This moment is full of what is yet to be. This moment is full of the past, present, and future as one slips away, one is, and one is yet to be.  This moment is in itself an ending and a beginning. So as I dry laundry and match socks and read words, I hold this moment with open hands accepting what is here. *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

Today I am rejoicing. My sweet, beautiful niece is one today! What an incredible gift God has blessed us with! And what a soothing balm that He sent her to us as He took away another dear one. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord! *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

A year ago, I spent the evening in an ICU room at the hospital. My grandpa was dying. The odd thing is that I had been planning to go visit him at the hospital that day after I got off work. I went home, went for a run, and had been planning to go visit him. My parents had left that morning after visiting my grandpa to go to Minnesota for the birth of my niece, and they had said that he looked good.  When I got in from my run, I had a missed call from my mom, and she told me that if I wanted to say goodbye to Grandpa I needed to go to the hospital right away. After I cried and cried, I drove the 45 minutes to the hospital as I cried some more.  Once at the hospital I saw my grandpa. Except it wasn't my grandpa. My grandpa was a strong, healthy, vibrant man. Not this weak, helpless man who couldn't breathe on his own. He didn't even recognize me. He just said: "I want to go home." And all I could say as I started crying yet again was, "You are going ho...

When on Tuesday your week has already gotten the better of you and your work and wedding planning are stressing you, oh, and your team is playing game 1 of the World Series, having a fiance who sends you flowers at work is just the best. He is a keeper!! I'm not really sure how I got so blessed, but I thank God for him every day.  *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

Last night my love and I booked a special trip in January. Just the two of us. Sun, sand, sea. I wish that it could be tomorrow. He wishes it could be tomorrow. But I know that if we were to just fast forward I would miss so many beautiful moments between now and then.  A savored life appreciates this moment, this day. It says that this moment matters and is valuable even if all that fills this moment is the mundane and ordinary. It says that this moment matters because if I look for it eternity is hiding in this moment.  So while I look forward to our warm vacation in the middle of the winter, I will look for eternity in the moments between now and then.  *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the end of this post. 

We took a detour this afternoon looking for a cemetery. We did find a cemetery for pets. It wasn't the one we were looking for. We didn't find the one we were looking for. As we were getting ready to leave, I looked over at some trees and the way the sunlight caught the yellow leaves in the wind they looked like a thousand yellow birds. I was caught in the beauty of the moment. I can see them even now in my mind: yellow leaves fluttering in the sunlight, dancing against the blue of the sky. It was a sweet gift to my tired spirit on this Sunday afternoon. It brought me rest on this Sabbath day. 

My Royals are back in the World Series. As I have enjoyed their postseason run, I have been drawn back to memories from last year.  My mom and I watched game 1 together, and we had contemplated going to watch it at my grandpa's house. How I wish that we would have. The day of that disappointing game 7 was the day we lost him.  It was also the day we gained my sweet, precious, beautiful niece. I am excited to celebrate the birthday of this precious life.  The ending of October holds many emotions for me. This year I am trying to just hold them all with open hands. I am letting myself weep when I want to, and I am letting myself rejoice when I want to. I am allowing myself to savor these emotions without calling some bad and some good.  *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post.  

The sky outside my window at work today was impossibly blue. A late October blue. It's not the rich blue of a summer sky, nor is it the pale blue of a winter sky. It dwells somewhere in the middle, flaunting its own particular shade of perfection.  And I just noticed today that the bushes next to the building next door have at last given up and become bright red, standing next to their evergreen counterparts as if smugly declaring that they get to change colors.  The beautiful weather continues to hold, fall lulling us into believing that winter won't come after all. And yet, the mornings are chill. The bushes are red. The sky is October blue. While I longer in this moment, I know that it isn't meant to last forever, but I also know I will never get this moment again.  So I revel in October blue skies and smug red bushes and a false sense of holding onto summer if only for this moment.  *to read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on th...

Have I mentioned that I love food? I think I may have before. I love to savor my food. A really delightful meal that has been well thought out and causes my tastebuds to dance ministers not just to my physical body, but also to my soul.  However, as much as I enjoy my food, I derive as much pleasure from creating just such a meal. One of my favorite things to do for myself is to stay in, make myself a "foodie" meal and really enjoy it.  Part of the savoring and the enjoyment is in the careful crafting of the meal. Part of the goodness of cooking is in the slowing down long enough to care for yourself and others in such a tangible way.  Because ultimately cooking and eating and food are fleeting things; they don't last. You can eat a meal, but you will get hungry again. Food spoils (at least it should if you are eating the good stuff). It can seem like such a waste to spend time and energy on the savoring of the preparation and eating of food. Why does it matter if w...

Today was a gorgeous day. The weather was perfect. The sun was shining. The temps were warm. Today was a gift. Because tomorrow the weather might be cold and rainy. The seasons will change. Fall is here and it will be followed by winter. But today was a gift that was just meant to be enjoyed. Today was a sweet reminder that my Papa God cares about me.  *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

Tonight I had the previlage of gathering around a table with a group of people not once but twice to share a meal. I'm not always aware of how this should remind me of communion, but as I've been intentional to savor life this month, I have become much more aware in situations like this one. What came to mind as I gathered with these people is that Jesus always ended up at the "wrong" table. He ate with the people who he wasn't supposed to. He gathered for meals with ones who from the outside looking in were far from the kingdom of God, but from the inside looking outwere going into the kingdom ahead of the "righteous" people.  Jesus wasn't concerned about his reputation when he gathered around a table. But he was deeply concerned about the people who gathered with him.  I want to be like this when I come to a table. I want to care about the people who are there with me instated of making sure I'm at the "right" table.   ...

I know I'm too busy when my dishes pile up on the counter. Sometimes I really miss having a dishwasher, but having to hand wash my dishes is good for me because it makes me slow down. Dish washing is a chore I don't really mind. I have done a lot of it throughout my life. But I have to be home to wash the dishes. When I'm rushing here and there and everywhere my dishes pile up.  When I got off work, my one goal was to get my dishes washed. I had such a savory evening because I slowed down. I washed my dishes. I made soup. I crocheted. I spent some time with a dear family at the funeral home. I made cookies. And I'm going to bed early.  My life is quite beautiful when I make time to enjoy it and let the beauty shine through in the ordinary moments.  *To read all t he posts in this write 31 days series, click the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

This morning, my favorite pastor preached a sermon that was full of things that awaken my heart. He spoke of friends and relationships that needed mending, of hearts that had been injured, of brokenness that had been experienced. He spoke of rejoicing in the Lord and of God's peace which surpasses understanding and of thinking on excellent things. He spoke of how we need to rejoice in the Lord as a way through our broken relationships. He spoke of how we are to help each other to live out this glorious plan of reconciliation. And he said that this is not easy. But it is necessary.  This stirred and awakened my soul because I needed to hear that message. I felt a deep "Yes!" resounding in my soul with his words that washed over me like the ocean waves, calling to my heart to be washed clean and made new and restored.  This deep truth that rejoicing leads to restoration needed to be told to my soul today. This deep truth to think on the things that are lovely, admira...

Hey guys. I saw snow today. Yes, snow. In the middle of October. Snow. We aren't even a month into fall yet. I can't take this blending of seasons. It needs to be fall for another couple of months before there is snow and winter.  And yet. . .if I truly would be a woman who savors life, I need to savor all of life, not just when life is the way I want it to be. So today, I will savor the snow. And I will embrace the seasons as they come and be reminded that God is faithful.  *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

Sometimes you are so busy enjoying life that you forget to document it. That was yesterday for me. After a long work day, I made potato soup to share, went to a ladies church service, and spent time visiting with family.  I didn't do everything I wanted to. My to-do list was left unmarked, but I did things that were much more important. It was more important that I spend time with family than that I get all the dishes washed. It was more important to soak in the presence of God at the ladies service than that I rush around a do one more thing.  That is what savoring is about: slowing down and letting go of the things that seem important in the moment to embrace the things that are important in the light of eternity. May you find such moments today. *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

A year ago today, my Royals clinched the ALCS and earned themselves a spot in the World Series (on a side note, I'm not really sure why it's called the World Series as all the teams are from the US with the exception of Toronto).  Last night my Royals won game 5 of their division series and earned their way back into the ALCS. I was so excited that I had a difficult time winding down to go to sleep last night. It just makes me happy, and I'm not even really sure why.  It probably has something to do with the fact that for the first time in my lifetime the Royals are good. And it's always fun to watch good baseball. As someone who grew up watching the Royals and ran the bases at The K when I was little, it is fun to see them play good baseball.  Some of my favorite memories and savored moments over the last couple of years have been in the context of a baseball game. And I'm hoping to have a few more made in the next couple of weeks. Go Royals!!  *To read ...

A wise woman I talked to several years ago told me that everyone needs to have a self-care kit. A self-care kit is composed of the little things that you do for yourself to help keep yourself healthy and able to pour into the people around you. My self-care kit changes depending on how I'm doing and where I'm at in life.  Right now being intentional to savor my life and writing these blog posts is part of my self-care kit. Getting a massage is part of my self-care kit. Getting coffee with a pastor's wife friend is part of my self-care kit. Going out to dinner with my love is part of my self-care kit.  These are all things that bring me back to focus on the enjoyment of life. These are all things that cause me to slow down and wonder at the beauty of life. That's why I make time in between all my other busy-ness to do these things. *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click the #write31days label at the bottom of this post.

Part of what I have been working on for the last few days is getting old pictures scanned so that I have them in digital format. How fun to look through all these old pictures of my love and I.  There he is with his older brother. I love how babies always look shocked.  There I am with my honey bear, looking like I want to just be left alone.  How very sweet is the beginning of life. There is so much to look forward to, so much life ahead. Everything is new and fresh and yet to happen. What glorious abundance awaits. This is a good reminder for me to start each day with that freshness. Each day is a new beginning, a new chance to live in abundance, a new chance to savor our lives.  *To read all the posts in this write 31 days series, click on the #write31days label at the bottom of this post. 

As I sit here writing this post, all I can think is how did it get to be almost 8:00 PM? I feel like this day just flew by, and I'm not sure that I got half of what I wanted to do accomplished. These are the days when the struggle to savor life is fierce. When the day escapes without my noticing it because I'm so wrapped up in the day.  I sit here and I wonder what on earth did I actually do with my time today? I look at my planner for the rest of the week, and I want to just crawl under the covers and not come out for the rest of the week.  And unfortunately, I am an adult, so that isn't a choice I get. I have to get up in the morning and go to my job. I have to make the money to pay my rent. I have to do the things that need to get done.  These are the moments when I especially need to savor and give thanks for the small moments. So I start to think over my day. What did I savor today? I got to go to lunch with my love. I sorted through old pictures. I go...