Something Beautiful

I have pretty much given up on trying to figure out the rest of my life because let's be honest, I will never figure out the rest of my life. It's not that I don't want to. I do, but it really isn't up to me. It's up to God, and He's already got it all planned out. He just needs me to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I just have to keep looking for the next step. Like a rock climber scaling a cliff, I just have to look for my next hand hold and foot hold. Following that same analogy, I'm looking all the way up the cliff to make sure I'm going in a good direction, but my main focus is on my next move. For a while, that next move was finding a job. I have one of those now...a good one at that, but now I'm looking for the next move. I love my job, and I can honestly see myself working there long term, but I think it's time for me to start looking for the next step. Actually, I've been looking for the next step for a while now. I have

It's official...I have the best job...ever. No really, I do. Tonight I went on a date with my job. It was over 7 hours (you know how much I love quality time). I had a gourmet meal complete with wedding cake for dessert. I came home with flowers...and champagne. And I got paid. Yep...pretty much amazing. Christmas is in the air!! I am excited to decorate for Christmas when my lovely roommate gets home tomorrow (or maybe the next day). The lights are going up all over town, and I'm okay with it now because Thanksgiving is over. The weather is remarkably warm for it being almost December, but I did see the remnants of the inclement weather SGF experienced the other day. This has been such a crazy but good week, and I'm looking forward to the coming weeks of work and activities and friends and family and fun. I'm excited to go to church in the morning...speaking of which...I should get to bed soon because we are only having one service tomorrow and it's earlier than th

This morning I woke up 2ish hours after I went to sleep. I had a mild freak out because of a nightmarish experience. I woke up an hour later. I slept two more hours. I woke up and was thankful for: electricity so I could have my light on after my freak out, a warm safe house, parents to protect me. The house was already smelling good when I got up. Breakfast was shared over hot chai lattes -- mine was dirty. I was thankful for a warm house, being out of the wind, good food, dear family. Hot water gave me a steaming shower. I was thankful for being able to shower in a beautiful bathroom, hot water, coconut scented bath products, towels, a bathroom with walls, privacy. I made whipped cream for pumpkin pie. I was thankful for having an electric mixer so I didn't have to whip it by hand, delicious pumpkin pie, my job, holidays, days off. The house filled with many people, big people and little people. There were hugs and kisses and love all around. We shared a meal and our lives. I was

Have you ever thought about the predictability of the names of Chinese restaurants? I'm sure there are a few exceptions, but for the most part a Chinese restaurant will have one of the following words in their name: China, King, Panda, Garden, Happy, Hong Kong, Emperor, Buffet, Great Wall It's kind of odd if you think about it, but I guess it makes naming your restaurant rather easy. The craziness that is the week of Thanksgiving has begun. It's fun, but mildly stressful at the same time. Lots of pies to make, but all soooo good. I got almost all of tomorrow's pies done today, so I will only have a few to make in the morning. Looking forward to my personal favorite Thanksgiving tradition of cold pumpkin pie for breakfast on Friday. Yum. What's your favorite Thanksgiving or holiday tradition?

I can't believe Thanksgiving is less than a week away. Christmas will be here a second after that. Then it will be 2011. It's so weird to even type that. Life is good. Life feels balanced right now. I love my work. I love the things that I am committed to and that I am involved in. I feel kind of like my life is in a sieve, and the little, less important things are being shaken out and what's left is the big, more important things. The novel has unfortunately fallen through the cracks. I don't think I will finish it by the end of November (there's a small chance yet that I might), but more likely I will finish it some other time on my own. I have the weekend off this week, which I'm looking forward to. Can anyone say girl's weekend? I'm excited to make new friends, and to get away for just a day before the craziness of next week ensues. 3 days of non-stop pie making craziness. It will be so good, but so crazy. I'm really excited for next week. Family

I was listening to jazz on the radio on my way home last night. There is just something about jazz even more so than just about any other type of music that just seems to connect with my soul. It just seems to fit with my soul in the same way that one person fits with another when you give someone a perfect hug. I was thinking about why this is. I think it's because out of the chaos comes a raw beauty. Out of all the messiness comes something beautiful. It is in the dissonant chords that the beautiful melody hides. I like the messiness of jazz because it feels like my life. Life is messy and complicated and random (or maybe that's just my life). And I guess I figure that if out of all the messiness and chaos of jazz there can come a beautiful melody, then out of the messiness and complexities of my life, God can create something beautiful. I think that's why I like jazz because it reminds me that God can take me and make my life into a thing of beauty for His glory. So What

I did some talking today. A lovely lady did some listening. And together we figured some stuff out. She gave me a good outside perspective on some things going on in my life. She challenged me to look deeper at the issues. She encouraged me. I can't wait to talk with her again. I talked more on the phone today than I have in a single day in a long time. Figuring out events, holiday plans, and stuff with my sister's wedding all require coordination between multiple parties. I talked about economics for two hours with a student. I tried to remember all that I learned, to pass on that knowledge to the best of my abilities. I hope it helped. I realized that I still understand it, and I can still figure it all out if need be. It was kind of like re-living a nightmare, though. There was also a lot of non-talking today. I spent a lot of time not talking and listening instead. I listened to my heart. I listened to God. I listened to the sounds of my car. I listened to a little music th

I love my Jesus. I love when He asks me to do things that stretch me and challenge me. I love when He comforts me. I love when He provides for me in unexpected ways. I love when He lets my heart ache. I love when He satisfies me. I love when He gives to me. I love when He takes things away. I love spending time with Him. I love laughing with Him. I love crying with Him. I love that He knows all the parts of my heart. I love that He gives me a reason to rejoice and be glad every day -- because every day belongs to Him. I love when I can feel His presence right next to me. I love talking to Him. I love that He loves me so much. I love that He is just and true and righteous. I love that He is merciful, full of grace and abounding in love. I love that He never changes. I pretty much love everything about Him. The End.

I had so much fun at work yesterday. I made lots of pies. I sold lots of pies. And I giggled a lot. I couldn't really help it. I was paid the oddest compliment I have ever gotten. A lady told me I have a nice shape. This same lady and her daughter remarked on how attractive my boss is before she asked if I was married to him. When they left the store I could not stop laughing for at least 5 minutes. An hour later when I was recounting the story to K and L, I actually had to take a giggle break because I couldn't get the entire story out without laughing about it. My bosses found it humorous as well, and then preceded to tell me that basically the business was built on the fact that they are attractive men. So much laughter...just bubbling out of my soul. I'm laughing even now as I think about it. I have been greatly enjoying the Indian Summer that we have been having lately in SGF. I'm really not ready for it to be cold and yucky outside yet. I'm dreading winter...t

Yesterday morning I spent 3 hours and 15 minutes (approximately) walk/running a half-marathon. Yeah, it was a great way to spend a Sunday morning. This was the first time that I did a long distance event like that that I was just doing it to do it. I didn't feel compelled to do it. I didn't feel driven to do it. I just did it. I was telling my mom after I had finished and we were cheering on my dad that I liked it because there was no pressure, no higher goal. It gave me time to really soak in the experience, to be in the moment, to see the bigger picture. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." - Hebrews 12:1,2 This is the verse that I always think about when it comes to running, but yesterday I finally seemed to grasp something more

I find bumper stickers to be incredibly interesting. I usually only have a chance to read them when I'm sitting behind someone in traffic who has a ton of bumper stickers on the back of their vehicle. Usually they are bumper stickers about peace, anti-war, pro-democrat, tolerant out the wazoo. I'm glad that I live in America, the land of freedom of speech. I'm glad that I live in a country where people are free to express what they feel and believe. However, when I see a bumper sticker that says "God Bless our troops, especially our snipers" it just makes me smile in a small corner of my heart. That was one of the bumper stickers on the truck in front of me at a stop light this morning. It's things like that that brighten my day just a little. I'm supposed to be writing on my novel...but that's having issues because my roommate has gotten me addicted to Parenthood so we are watching episodes of that. However, with some luck I will get a couple thousand

I hate it when I have all these great ideas for blog posts, and then when I sit down to actually blog, I can't remember any of them. My brain is tired today anyway. 7 AM is just a little early for me. But I am glad to have a job, even if I do need to be there at 8:30 for work. It was very fall like today. Cold and dreary. I didn't like it. I'm still not exceptionally happy about it. At least the sun has come out this afternoon. I went with my lovely roommate and voted today. It was the first time I have ever voted in the polls on election day. Always before I have voted absentee, but finally this year I actually went to an elementary school gym, stood in line and voted. I triumphantly claimed my "I Voted" sticker when I turned in my ballot. I have now somehow managed to lose it. If you haven't voted yet, get out and vote! This is your chance to make your voice heard. Well, I was kind of just typing in the hope that some of my blogging ideas would come back to

It's November. The month of giving thanks, of turkey, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, family time, veterans day, the birthdays of several of my favorite people. This day in particular holds two very big memories for me. November 1st is the anniversary of two very different and very impactful experiences that I have had. 7 years ago today I was in a very major accident. I wrecked my parents pickup truck...totaled it. I rolled 2 1/2 times landing on the top. I walked away with minor scraps and a slight concussion. That was the day that I realized that God had a plan for my life because I very easily could have been killed or seriously injured. I don't always remember this anniversary, but today it came to mind. I am so grateful for God's protection and plan for my life. And this is the one year anniversary of my first (and most likely last) marathon. One year ago today, I ran a marathon. I can't even begin to describe the feelings that I had when I crossed that finish line. I wou