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Showing posts from March, 2009

Be Glorified in My Blindness

I love my GAL sisters. I love the organization. I love the people. I love the fun we have. I love how everyone is always there for you. I love that if you are having a bad day, there is someone there to listen, give you a hug, buy you a brownie, and pray for you. I love that when I have ankle problems one of my GAL sisters, A, is there to look at it and tell me what I need to be doing to help fix the problem. I love that God has given us the Body with each of us performing a different service so that we can minister to each other from our special areas of expertise. See I know next to nothing about what to do for my ankle, but A on the other hand loves helping people with things like this. A's best friend, S, isn't gifted at economics, but I on the other hand am, and I love helping people understand it. I love that with my job as a tutor I also get the chance to love on and be interested in the lives of students who I would probably never have contact with otherwise. Never doub

Driving Like You Mean It

My friend, K, told me something that completely made my day. Our friends, J and L, told her that I drive my car like I know how to drive. I love my car, and that is possibly one of the best compliments I have ever gotten, especially since it came from 2 boys who I respect and admire. They appreciate the fact that I have a stick, and I drive like I mean it. That makes me happy. :) L volunteered that if I ever needed someone to drive my car around, I should let him know, but after the past year and a conversation I had with K once, I have decided not to let a man drive my car until he has made some kind of commitment to me...like perhaps a ring? I didn't tell him that...I just laughed. I had the most amazing relaxing week ever...it was super nice. And I got a tan!!! I basically just laid on the beach and did nothing all week long. It was exactly what I needed, and it was an incredible time with God. He showed me some amazing things, not the least of which is that He loves to delight

if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger

That's how I felt about my run this morning....like it was going to kill me, not make me stronger. The wind was insane. My legs were killing me, and I wanted to stop almost the entire time I was running. Yes, today was tough, but I made it - 3.5 miles. Then I looked at my schedule for today, and I realized that I only needed to run 3 miles. I felt a little ridiculous, but then I realized that not only did I run farther than I needed to, but I did it in that wind. That means I am going to be just that much stronger, so it didn't kill me, but did indeed make me stronger. And tomorrow I will be at the beach!! :) All I have to say is that God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.

"If I run to you"

I ran 4 miles outside this morning. Don't ask me how - I don't know. I have never ran 4 miles all together in my entire life. All I know is that is what God asks me to do, so I run to Him and for Him, and He is faithful to meet me in that. He gives me strength when I don't think I can keep going. And when I run, He almost always gives me wonderful insights to life. This morning I was running, and the morning chorus was going in full swing, and I was wondering what birds say to each other when they sing. As I ran and pondered on this, God gave me an interesting thought about that. All of creation sings praises to God. This is a statement that is made fairly regularly in the Bible. Birds and trees and mountains and flowers, all give praise and glory to God with all that is in them. They have pure and simple worship for their Creator. I imagine if we could understand birds they would be having the most delightful conversation about how wonderful and marvelous and glorious God

Thoughts

I'm sitting here at 1:30 AM icing my ankle and just trying to wind down after this evening. You know those times when your mind is just jumping from thought to thought to thought....well that's where I'm at right now. I'm sure if I laid down I could go to sleep as I haven't been getting much lately, so I really don't have trouble sleeping when I get even remotely close to being horizontal, but my mind is so wrapped up that I don't even want to try at this moment. So some thoughts going on in my mind at this moment. Guys are really great - and I'm really glad I don't have one. They really do bring much laughter and rest to my heart. Marriage is going to be tough. I'm in a book study with S and B on the book Sacred Marriage . This week the chapter was on how marriage can help you build character. Marriage is not a walk in the park. It is a mountain climbing trip. Yes, there are going to be moments when you will look around you and see many beautifu

tears are a good thing

I can't ever remember a time when I cried a lot. Maybe I never felt there was anything to cry about, but at any rate I never remember crying much growing up. I think part of it had to do with growing up on a farm, and hearing "It's a long way from your heart." At any rate, by the time I came to college I was very out of touch with my heart and my emotions and my desires. I think that all just became jumbled up and got so complicated that I didn't think I could deal with it, so I stopped trying. That was a bad idea. I have since discovered that unless you live life from the heart it means nothing. I now want to live life so passionately for Jesus that sometimes it just aches inside of me. I used to tune out the ache, but that is also a bad idea. When my heart aches for Jesus that is a beautiful thing, and it will draw me closer to Him if I allow it to do its work. Some of that work is learning to let myself cry. Tears, I have come to realize, can be a good thing, e

"I'm not who I was when I took my first step..."

I was listening to this song earlier ( If You Want Me To ), and it has really just spoken to me over the past several months, especially when I was having struggles with accepting some things that God removed from my life. Today, however, when I was listening to it this line just really stuck out at me. I am constantly amazed by how much God can change my life if I will just allow Him free reign in my life. As I look back over the last year I am in awe of my Creator and how much He has changed me just in a year - for that matter just in the last 3 months. What initially sticks out to me is my attitude concerning relationships and my current relationship status. A year ago I liked this boy a lot, and I really thought I was ready to be in a relationship with him. I was also really getting to know one of my really good friends, and she was speaking lots of truth into my life concerning being single. To make a very long story short, we never ended up getting together, and I see now that th

Called Beauty

I'm listening to Pandora right now, and the song that is on is Love Song . I'm not sure what exactly that has to do with my life at the moment, but thought I would share it with you all. In fact, I feel rather at a loss as to what I should say as I sit here eating sweet potatoes. I had a lovely run with my roommate, B, today. We both decided that it is much more fun to run with someone than to run outside alone...not to mention smarter as our neighborhood isn't the greatest. Running feels so awesome now. I am getting new running shoes tomorrow, and I'm really excited about them. The lady at the store let me go out on the sidewalk and run back and forth to test them out when I went today to look, and they just felt really amazing. Switching Subjects... I have never really had many guy friends. I'm not sure why. I think part of it had to do with the fact that for a while I was really scared of men in general. Then I went through a men disliking period (I refuse to say

If you say run, I will run

I am running a half marathon in April. I have a long way to go, but I am running a half marathon for Jesus, so I know that I'm going to make it. He never asks anything of me which He will not give me the strength to carry out. So I ran 3.25 miles this morning. It felt great!! I never would have imagined that this would be my attitude towards running, but there it is. I actually have come to enjoy running - I feel like this somehow makes me a very sick and twisted person, but there it is. My Saturday has been relaxing and enjoyable, and at the same time I have accomplished a lot. I intended to go to bed early last night...well that turned into 1 AM. And I woke up at 7 AM - on a Saturday. Don't ask me why. Anyway it was good because that gave me time to do everything that I needed to do today. I made a quilt...my first one in quite a while. I started it on Thursday and finished it today as I watched a movie with my friend, D. I had forgotten how much utility I get out of sewing,

Running

I am not a runner...but I believe that God can make me into a runner. I cannot succeed at anything I do on my own strength...but I believe that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I do not have the strength or endurance to run for 13.1 miles...but I believe that God can give me the strength I need and the endurance to see the race to its end. These are the thoughts going through my mind as I consider the decision before me. Do I run? or Do I sit on the sidelines? Philippians 3:12-14

"I hate boys"

"I hate boys" is somthing that I hear more and more. Maybe I am just noticing it lately because I had it brought to my attention that it was something I said a lot up until a year ago. It still sometimes comes out of my mouth...and I usually regret saying it when it does. My guess is that most other girls, like me, do not really mean they hate boys when they say they hate boys. Usually what "I hate boys" translates to is "I'm really frustrated with this one boy in my life" or "I'm upset that this boy I like doesn't like me back" or "Why don't boys notice me?" However, for some reason we don't feel like we could actually say those things or perhaps no one wants to take the time to listen to our frustrations so it simply becomes "I hate boys." However, I think this is something that really needs to be examined by me and by all women. I think we need to re-evaluate our words and what comes out of our mouths in

Fluid Areas...

I am a very protective person especially when it comes to my girls. Therefore whenever someone hurts one of my girls, I immediately become defensive. I am trying to overcome this a little and see the other side of an issue, but there are sometimes when I really just want to sit some boys down and give them lectures about their behaviors. My friend, K, wrote a song that has the following lyrics in it: "Are you even listening, listening to what you're saying to me? Do you even realize, realize what you're doing to me?" I have come to realize that for the most part men really don't know and really don't realize what they say has such a profound impact on us girls. In the book Revelations of a Single Woman by Connally Gilliam, she writes such a wonderful analogy of what women go through. She relates a woman's heart to a garden (which if you read Song of Solomon is quite accurate). In this garden there is an inner sanctum which is at the very core of her heart

What is Beauty?

So what is beauty? I've heard it all...everyone is beautiful in their own way...beauty is in the eye of the beholder...or a personal favorite (please note sarcasm) beauty is in the eye of the beerholder. Strangely none of these comfort me or encourage me much. Beauty is something I have struggled with for a long time. Last summer was the first time when I actually came to believe that I was/am beautiful. And I still struggle with thinking of myself as beautiful a large part of the time. I look in the mirror, and I question if what I see is truly beautiful. So I return again to my question...what is beauty? I am slowly coming to realize that the answer to this is actually quite simple. Everything that has God's touch is beauty. Every part of creation, every human being, every thoughtful note from a friend. These things all encompass what beauty is. I sometimes wonder what it would be like not to live in a fallen world because that fact alone distorts everything. We live in a wor