resolutions and changes

I've been contemplating making New Year's resolutions. I'm sure I made some last year, but for the life of me I couldn't tell you what they were unless I looked them up in my journal. If I did, I think one of them was "Get Healthy"...that for sure I've kept. However, I don't know if I'll make resolutions this year. It seems like a good way to track my progress from one year to the next. To see how I've grown and changed in a year, but it also seems like most New Year's resolutions are long forgotten after February hits...as is proved by my non-rememberance of mine from a year ago.

Besides that, I think I only have one resolution...for the rest of my life - Be what God wants me to be. Yeah...I think that about sums it up. Or in the words of John the Baptist: "He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30.

John was willing to allow Jesus to increase, and he was willing to fade into the background, even until his death. I'd say that is pretty much the epitome of being what God wants one to be. John had a proper perspective of life and his position in life. He was willing to be whatever God called him to be in whatever place in life he was in.

When he was called to be in the wilderness and eat locusts and wild honey, he did that. When he was called to begin proclaiming the coming of the Messiah, he did that. When he was asked to baptist Jesus, he did that. When he was asked to endure being locked in prison day after day, he did that. And when his death came at the whim of a mad queen, I have no doubt that he also accepted that.

Now John was human, so I have no doubts that he also had his time of struggling with what God was calling him to. Perhaps when he was in the wilderness, he was frustrated that he was called to this great ministry, but that it wasn't yet his time to start. We know that he balked at baptizing Jesus. I'm not saying that John was perfect and responded perfectly to everything he was called to...no that would be Jesus...but he did seem to have a fairly accurate grasp of where he stood in the grand scheme of things.

He was a man dedicated to becoming what God wanted him to be. That is my desire, that is my resolution, that my heart would say that He must increase, but I must decrease. I long to become the woman that God wants me to be.

Resolutions are always meant to bring about a change in a persons life. I think that's part of the reason that they are so difficult to keep - change is never easy. Change takes work and time and effort. It takes dedication and endurance.

I already know that 2010 will be a year of change for me. Graduating from college is a big change. I will (hopefully and God willing) get my first big-girl job. I will be paying bills all by myself. I was thinking tonight about how this will be my last long Christmas vacation. Next year, I won't have a three week vacation...weird.

These changes are a natural part of life - the natural flow from one chapter to another. I want my resolution to be as natural a change as these will be.

I always thought it was interesting what John the Baptist says right before this verse. He says: "He who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom who stands and hears him rejoices greatly at the sound of the bridegroom's voice. For this reason my joy has been fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:29,30

John says that his joy is fulfilled in Jesus claiming the bride for Himself, in hearing the voice of the Bridegroom. Which he follows up with make me what you want me to be.

Wow...okay this is getting kind of longish...didn't quite mean for this to be so long...ah, well. Get me talking about Jesus and I can talk forever. Anyway...signing off now. Peace out yo!

And a winter pic just for fun...one I took 2 years ago on Christmas break.