i've been keepin my eyes wide open

Ever have one of those days where you just can't seem to find the beauty in life? I hate days like that. And I had one today. I feel like all the stress of the last couple of days has just been building and building, and I'm just about ready to break. Today has been the final straw. I can't decide if I just really want to scream and punch something or if I want to cry until I can cry no more. Maybe I'll do both.

My car continues to have crazy problems that seem to come out of nowhere. I can't figure out why it keeps breaking down, and I don't have the time, energy or money to take it to a mechanic. I literally just want one day where I don't have to deal with my car breaking down or an issue related to my car. I want one day where I don't have to get under the hood of my car.It's stressing me out just a little bit.

I'm ready to have my Mini back in working condition. May God speed the day of her return.

I'm also stressed about what I'm doing with my life. There are so many different options before me, and everything is completely up in the air. I am waiting on God's timing...and waiting...and waiting.

To quote Bilbo Baggins, "I feel like butter scraped over too much bread." I feel thin and stretched and too spread out. My soul is raw and sore. I need to spend hours being refreshed in the presence of the One who alone is in control over all these things. I need the soothing salve that only He can apply. I need a retreat.

That was supposed to happen Saturday...but then my life was insane on Saturday. So it is going to happen tomorrow. Me, Jesus, and God's Word. What a delightful day to look forward to.

I was sitting in my car tonight in a parking lot (because I didn't quite make it home), and I was contemplating how when things are good it is easy to see beauty everywhere. It's when things get difficult that suddenly beauty seems to flee from life. As I was contemplating how it was so difficult for me to find beauty out of this wreck of a day, I was thinking about a lovely blogger who I follow. This lovely lady has a son who has a heart condition...there is so much stress and uncertainty in their lives...and yet she continues to find beauty in the little things that surround her.

Life can be beautiful even when it's messy and complicated and stressful. That just means you have to keep your eyes open to find the beauty. Well, I'm going to get some sleep before I become a recluse all day tomorrow.

A lovely tune: Your Love is a Song - Switchfoot

Peace out yo!!

Comments

  1. i am glad you had a day off to sort through all those emotional tangles with Jesus. but i am also glad that you will be back in my life tomorrow.

    i missed you.

    ReplyDelete

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