the inbetween moments

I worked all day today. It was very slow, and I didn't have to hurry or rush. I actually made myself go more slowly so that I didn't run out of things to do. It was quiet. Lots of time for me to think and reflect and pray. Most of my thoughts were joyful -- rejoicing in God and all that He has given me. A few of my thoughts were sad -- friends leaving, some for a short while...others indefinitely.

Sometimes my heart breaks because things do not go the way I want them to or think they should. A friend who makes a decision I don't think is particularly wise. When someone settles for being less than they could be. When someone cannot see the obvious truth right in front of them. In those moments I am reminded that God is still good, and that He is still the one in control. I can't see the whole big picture, but I know it will be glorious in the end.

I have been tempted with opportunities for jealously lately. A moment or picture will flash though my mind, and my heart will begin to walk down the road of why not me? Why can't I be the one with the money or boyfriend or whatever else? Thankfully, I have been very quickly turning to Jesus and reminding myself (sometime verbally) that what I have with Him is far richer and more beautiful and better than anything else the world could offer me.

I am rolling ideas around in my mind. Ideas about cooking and cookbooks. Ideas about savoring and how I want to live out life. Ideas about the future and dreams that I have out there in the dangerous territory of someday. Ideas about moving. Ideas about settling down and having roots. Ideas about family and love and trust. Ideas that have yet to fully form or take root or have vision. Ideas stuck back in the corners of my mind waiting to be discovered in the inbetween moments of life.