table for one

I had the opportunity to go out to eat by myself the other night. I realized that it had been a long time since I had done that. I mean, I go out to eat by myself quite a bit, but not always to a place where I don't know someone working there. I used to do this a lot more frequently, but I hadn't done it in a while.

I know girls who really don't like to go out to eat alone, and if truth be known, I probably used to be one of those girls. But there is just something about it that makes me more aware, more alive, more awake to the whole experience and life in general. I think I savor the experience more when I'm alone. Which is drastically different than when I savor the friendship of going out to eat with people I know. I savor those experiences as well, but it is just a different type of savoring.

I think it makes me more aware of my heart when I'm by myself. It gives me time for introspection and quiet thoughts that don't always surface.

I have been thinking lately about the person I am and the person who I want to be. On most counts those line up -- the places they don't are what I'm working on. I don't think I'm ready to share about that just yet. . .sometimes the things of my heart are best left to me and God until they aren't quite so near to my heart (if that makes any sense at all).

Anyway. . .all that to say I went out to a nice, quiet dinner by myself, and it was lovely in many different ways. I'm going to have to make that happen again soon.