true joy
I got to be with all of my extended family on my mom's side of the family last night for Christmas celebrations. It was bittersweet for me.
I loved getting to be with them all. I loved watching their children (my second cousins) open presents, the delight and joy on their little faces, the adorable way they gave hugs and kisses and said thank you and merry Christmas, the way they interact with one another. I loved giving back massages to my cousins and aunts and telling them about what I'm learning. I love that we had a family picture. . .which will be out of date in about two months when my next little cousin arrives.
Only three times did I think about being the only person there by myself. Only once did I think about not having any children to join in the opening of presents. Like I said, bittersweet.
I was reminded, though, My help comes from the Lord. (Psalm 121:2)
When I got home and was having some quiet time before bed, I cried the tears that I held inside earlier. In the midst of tears I had a quietness of soul and a deep peace. In the midst of my quiet grief I had a great sense of trust and love for the Lord, a deep knowing that His timing is perfect and that I wouldn't have it any other way.
The smile on my face that reaches all the way to my eyes (so you know it's the real thing) covers the grief in my heart, and that is true joy, life in the midst of pain.
I pray that you are having a truly blessed holiday season!!
I loved getting to be with them all. I loved watching their children (my second cousins) open presents, the delight and joy on their little faces, the adorable way they gave hugs and kisses and said thank you and merry Christmas, the way they interact with one another. I loved giving back massages to my cousins and aunts and telling them about what I'm learning. I love that we had a family picture. . .which will be out of date in about two months when my next little cousin arrives.
Only three times did I think about being the only person there by myself. Only once did I think about not having any children to join in the opening of presents. Like I said, bittersweet.
I was reminded, though, My help comes from the Lord. (Psalm 121:2)
When I got home and was having some quiet time before bed, I cried the tears that I held inside earlier. In the midst of tears I had a quietness of soul and a deep peace. In the midst of my quiet grief I had a great sense of trust and love for the Lord, a deep knowing that His timing is perfect and that I wouldn't have it any other way.
The smile on my face that reaches all the way to my eyes (so you know it's the real thing) covers the grief in my heart, and that is true joy, life in the midst of pain.
I pray that you are having a truly blessed holiday season!!
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