listening

Sometimes when we listen to God, He tells us some great Spiritual Truth. Sometimes He tells us to read a specific verse or a chapter from a book that we have read before. Sometimes it is something incredibly practical like "clean out that junk box you have been keeping under your bed."

I have been feeling lately that God is preparing to do something in my life and in the lives of the people closest to me, and so He has been telling me to do practical things. I have been cleaning out boxes and drawers and getting rid of things that I don't have a need for, throwing away junk and yes, I did clean out the junk box under my bed.

In all of this I am aware of God's incredible faithfulness. I went through my journals and organized them and packed them into a box. As I was doing that I read snippets from over the past years. The tears I cry are thankful as I realize the goodness and steadfastness of God. Almost exactly three years ago, I was dieting, trying desperately to lose weight. I literally tried everything and didn't lose any weight, so I gave up. I made a decision instead to be healthy.

I decided to embrace and love the body that God has given me. I am strong and able. I have beautiful curves, and I can see God's fingerprints all over me. I couldn't see that then. It has been an incredible three year journey of learning to love and embrace that which I have been given, of learning how best to be a good steward of this body (it's the only one I have for this life), of learning what God desires for me to be. I learned to put my faith in Him instead of a number on a scale.

And somewhere along the way, God in His infinite wisdom and faithfulness gave me what I wanted so very badly three years ago. I randomly got on a scale a couple of weeks ago (because I stopped regularly weighing myself when I made my decision to be healthy, a scale doesn't tell me if I'm healthy), and the number I saw there surprised, shocked and humbled me. It was the exact number I wanted to be at three years ago. Words cannot express the joy that welled in my soul, not because of a number, but because I felt God whisper to my soul: As you have honored me, so I have honored you.

I say that not to brag about losing weight or to even make that a point, but rather to express the faithfulness of God, to express that when we listen to Him He honors us, to express that even when we can't see Him at work, He is. Which is precisely why I have been listening extra closely to what He has been saying lately and doing it because I know that He is preparing something, and I want to be ready to embrace it and rejoice in how He will honor those who honor Him with their lives and actions.