beautiful things

I am overwhelmed at how different my life is from where I thought I would be at this time in my life. I am overwhelmed at how different my life is from where I was two years ago. I am overwhelmed at the goodness of the Lord. I am overwhelmed at how His plan for my life is trans-rational (that's a new word I learned yesterday meaning that it is beyond our understanding). 

My path seems so clear now looking back, but the way was far from clear when I started out. It started with a seemingly irrational decision 4 years ago. I decided to abandon all to God, and I do mean ALL. I gave up my plans for how I thought my life should look. I gave up my plans for who I would marry and when. I gave up deciding what I would do and where I would go. I surrendered. 

I remember when people asked me after I graduated (and still had no idea what I was doing with my life) what my plans were, and all I could do was shake my head and say I don't know. A dear friend encouraged me that God would give me "the memo" when I was ready for it, when the timing was right. I would repeat to myself that God is good, His plans are perfect, and I trust Him. Some days even that didn't work. 

But slowly He taught me to dwell in a place of trust with Him. He taught me through finances. He taught me through jobs. He taught me through all my relationships both family and friends. He taught me through His sweet words. Do I trust Him perfectly now? Definitely not! But I am learning to more and more every day. 

Looking back my path makes sense. I had to go through everything I did because it made me who I am now. But I will never forget the questions and looks telling me I was crazy. I will never forget what it feels like to be looked at as though I had a screw loose somewhere. It didn't make sense. Why would someone who could easily have a successful and extended career in economics leave that to go into a career as a massage therapist? I know it still doesn't seem to make sense.

But this is what I do know. 

I love my job. I love my clients. I love that I get to wake up in the morning and go help people. I love that I get to be barefoot every day, that I get to be relaxed, that I get to experience the power of God's healing. I love that I work for myself, and I get to set my schedule around the things that are important to me. I love the freedom that I have.

I love seeing how God makes beautiful things out of us.

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