endure

I wrote this poem in response to a struggle that a friend is going through, and my own struggle to understand God's hand in the middle of this situation. If you are facing a challenge in your life, it is my prayer that you will endure in trusting. Blessings.

Endure.

Praying, seeking, hoping, and for what,
another disappointment?
To see the fulfillment of the promise so near
and then to fall flat as it is wrenched away,
pulled from your outstretched, reaching hand.

I don't understand. I don't want to understand.
I want to be angry and cry and scream
at the unfairness of it all, at the heart-wrenching
sorrow that fills my soul on your behalf.

I don't walk in your shoes, so I don't understand your pain.
You say your heart is a graveyard,
and I understand what it's like to have hopes buried
under the pain and death that reality brings.
I have my own graveyard.

In my struggle to understand, I yell at God.
Why do you withhold good,
when it is in your power to do it?
You say you give beauty for ashes.
You say you give a garland of gladness to those who mourn.
You say you fulfill your promises;
that you are always faithful.
Where is your faithfulness? Why can't I see it?
Where is your goodness?
Why are my eyes blind,
blinded by this rage in my soul?

I don't understand your pain,
but I understand desiring for something,
something that you don't have,
that seems unattainable.
I understand what it's like to wear a cloak of mourning.

I don't understand why God is showing His goodness,
His faithfulness in this way.
But I do know that He is good. He is faithful.
Even when I can't see it, He is.

And when my anger has passed and quiet
fills my soul, I hear His still, small voice.
Trust Me, My child, trust Me.
Walk forward, though the darkness may surround you,
it will break forth into glorious day.
Weeping may last for the night,
but My Joy comes with the morning.
Delight in me, in all circumstances.
Persevere even when you don't see the end.
Trust Me.