on my soapbox
Women, this post is for you. Men, feel free to read as well, but know that I am directly addressing women here. I'm in one of those moods where I feel like standing up on a soapbox and saying my piece even if no one agrees with me.
Several factors have contributed to this post, and it is something that has been stewing around in my mind for a while, so here is comes. I feel like I have license to say what I'm going to say because I am a woman, and as I already stated, I am specifically directing this at women. I apologize in advance if this post seems indelicate, but I am in a no-filter-say-what-you-mean kind of mood.
I am sick to death of reading things about men's behavior. There's a whole range of them from the "How dare he hold the door open for me" type to the "Why aren't there any more gentlemen" type. I've seen them and read them. What I haven't read is anything addressing women's behavior.
I am continually shocked by what I see in women my own age as well as women who are older and younger than me. John Adams once said that the behavior of women was the best indicator of the quality of a society (my paraphrase). Based on that, I am not surprised by the quality of our society. If you are wondering where the gentlemen have gone, perhaps it is because there are no gentlewomen any more.
When you fail to have Ladies, there will not long be Gentlemen.
Every time I step onto the college campus that is my ala mater, I overhear young women using language that is inappropriate and talking about situations and things that should not even be a part of a lady's life. When I hear the f-word twice in one sentence that tells me that she needs to find a larger vocabulary. Is it any wonder that men feel they can say that word to a woman when women are using it in their own conversations?
There are behaviors that used to be common courtesies: holding doors open, walking a lady to her car after dark, allowing a lady to go first (except in potentially dangerous situations), making sure a lady has a place to sit, etc. These behaviors were not to make women feel inferior or oppressed. Rather they were meant to show honor, kindness, and deference to women. How many men have we women wounded by killing their attempts to honor us in these little ways? And we wonder why they don't do these things anymore.
And I'm just going to go there. Do you want to know a reason why I think men are passive about getting married? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Maybe if women rediscovered what it means to have virtue, we would see a generation of men rise to meet the challenge. I'm not saying that sex is the only thing that motivates men to get married, but I am saying from a purely economics viewpoint that if the supply of sex outside of marriage decreased, we would probably see an increase in demand for marriage.
Women, you don't like the behavior of the men around you, try taking a look at your own behavior first instead of pawning off responsibility on them.
I happen to be blessed by having many good and excellent gentlemen around me. I believe in large part that is because I refuse to tolerate the behavior of men who don't treat me as a lady when I treat them as gentlemen.
I'm not saying that this is the fix-all solution, but it sure won't hurt to try, now will it?
Several factors have contributed to this post, and it is something that has been stewing around in my mind for a while, so here is comes. I feel like I have license to say what I'm going to say because I am a woman, and as I already stated, I am specifically directing this at women. I apologize in advance if this post seems indelicate, but I am in a no-filter-say-what-you-mean kind of mood.
I am sick to death of reading things about men's behavior. There's a whole range of them from the "How dare he hold the door open for me" type to the "Why aren't there any more gentlemen" type. I've seen them and read them. What I haven't read is anything addressing women's behavior.
I am continually shocked by what I see in women my own age as well as women who are older and younger than me. John Adams once said that the behavior of women was the best indicator of the quality of a society (my paraphrase). Based on that, I am not surprised by the quality of our society. If you are wondering where the gentlemen have gone, perhaps it is because there are no gentlewomen any more.
When you fail to have Ladies, there will not long be Gentlemen.
Every time I step onto the college campus that is my ala mater, I overhear young women using language that is inappropriate and talking about situations and things that should not even be a part of a lady's life. When I hear the f-word twice in one sentence that tells me that she needs to find a larger vocabulary. Is it any wonder that men feel they can say that word to a woman when women are using it in their own conversations?
There are behaviors that used to be common courtesies: holding doors open, walking a lady to her car after dark, allowing a lady to go first (except in potentially dangerous situations), making sure a lady has a place to sit, etc. These behaviors were not to make women feel inferior or oppressed. Rather they were meant to show honor, kindness, and deference to women. How many men have we women wounded by killing their attempts to honor us in these little ways? And we wonder why they don't do these things anymore.
And I'm just going to go there. Do you want to know a reason why I think men are passive about getting married? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Maybe if women rediscovered what it means to have virtue, we would see a generation of men rise to meet the challenge. I'm not saying that sex is the only thing that motivates men to get married, but I am saying from a purely economics viewpoint that if the supply of sex outside of marriage decreased, we would probably see an increase in demand for marriage.
Women, you don't like the behavior of the men around you, try taking a look at your own behavior first instead of pawning off responsibility on them.
I happen to be blessed by having many good and excellent gentlemen around me. I believe in large part that is because I refuse to tolerate the behavior of men who don't treat me as a lady when I treat them as gentlemen.
I'm not saying that this is the fix-all solution, but it sure won't hurt to try, now will it?
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