help me, please?
I'm not good at asking for help.
I don't want to seem like I'm nagging. Proverbs 21:19 says that it is better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife (NIV), and while I am not married, I believe that what I practice now will be the foundation to my later life. I don't want to be a nagger, so I don't ask.
I don't want to inconvenience anyone. We all know those people who ask you to do something at the worst possible time, but you feel obligated to help them because they asked. I don't want to be one of those people. So instead of potentially putting anyone out, I will just not ask.
I don't want to come across as needy. We all also know those people who always need something from you. They constantly take and take and never give back, high-maintenance people. This is never how I want to come across.
I hate feeling like I owe anyone. In my analytical mind there is a balance sheet where if I do something for someone it doesn't count, but if someone does something for me, I automatically owe them. I don't believe in living in debt, so I hate asking for help because it makes me feel like I am indebted.
I don't want people to think that I can't do something. I grew up watching my mom do crazy things like fix a combine header with a rope, and watching my dad do crazy things like build a house from the ground almost entirely by himself. They have always made me think that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
The problem is that I do need help. Just because I can do something for myself, does not mean that I need to or that I should. Just as I find fulfillment in helping other people, so other people can enjoy helping me. We all need help at some point in time. To people who really care, it doesn't matter if the time is inconvenient. It's not nagging to ask for help. It's nagging to pester people about helping.
A couple of months ago, I had a phone conversation with my parents where I just cried a lot, but one of the things I said was that I am alone. That is truly how I felt. Out of all my lovely friends and family, I truly felt like there was no one who had my back.
That was when I began to realize that I have to ask for help. I have to be willing to receive help from other people. No man is an island, and I cannot pretend that I can be self-sufficient. We were created to live in relationship and community with other people, and that includes being willing to ask for help.
I don't want to seem like I'm nagging. Proverbs 21:19 says that it is better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife (NIV), and while I am not married, I believe that what I practice now will be the foundation to my later life. I don't want to be a nagger, so I don't ask.
I don't want to inconvenience anyone. We all know those people who ask you to do something at the worst possible time, but you feel obligated to help them because they asked. I don't want to be one of those people. So instead of potentially putting anyone out, I will just not ask.
I don't want to come across as needy. We all also know those people who always need something from you. They constantly take and take and never give back, high-maintenance people. This is never how I want to come across.
I hate feeling like I owe anyone. In my analytical mind there is a balance sheet where if I do something for someone it doesn't count, but if someone does something for me, I automatically owe them. I don't believe in living in debt, so I hate asking for help because it makes me feel like I am indebted.
I don't want people to think that I can't do something. I grew up watching my mom do crazy things like fix a combine header with a rope, and watching my dad do crazy things like build a house from the ground almost entirely by himself. They have always made me think that I can do whatever I set my mind to.
The problem is that I do need help. Just because I can do something for myself, does not mean that I need to or that I should. Just as I find fulfillment in helping other people, so other people can enjoy helping me. We all need help at some point in time. To people who really care, it doesn't matter if the time is inconvenient. It's not nagging to ask for help. It's nagging to pester people about helping.
A couple of months ago, I had a phone conversation with my parents where I just cried a lot, but one of the things I said was that I am alone. That is truly how I felt. Out of all my lovely friends and family, I truly felt like there was no one who had my back.
That was when I began to realize that I have to ask for help. I have to be willing to receive help from other people. No man is an island, and I cannot pretend that I can be self-sufficient. We were created to live in relationship and community with other people, and that includes being willing to ask for help.
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