embrace brokenness

I think that over the years I have been influenced by the culture I live in and the experiences I have had to be predisposed to think that personal brokenness is somehow a curse rather than a blessing. Society celebrates the people who seem to have it all together and criticizes the ones who don't. 

And this isn't even a recent phenomenon. Job's friends celebrated his life when everything was going well, but turned on him when life became bad. "There must be something wrong because you are experiencing brokenness," is the message that they spoke. And is that message any different today? 

Too often I find myself buying into the lie that brokenness means there is something wrong with me or in me. Yes, I do believe that brokenness can be a sign that something is wrong. But more often I think it is about something else entirely. Stay with me here because I think this will all make sense in the end.

When I was on vacation I had the opportunity to go to a worship night that my friend organized. It was an incredible evening and God's presence was in that place. He gave me a picture of this beautiful vessel that had been shattered beyond repair. He told me that this is representative of my life and the brokenness that I have experienced. My instinct is to cry over that. To mourn over the beautiful vessel that was broken. But in the way only God can, He flipped that upside down. Instead of mourning I should rejoice because when the vessel was broken it allowed the contents to be spilled. 

I was reminded of the woman who anointed Jesus and it says that the fragrance of the ointment filled the room where they were. She could have chosen not to break the vessel, but the fragrance wouldn't have filled the room. She could have chosen to mourn over the lost vessel, but she was focused on the much greater joy that was found in the worship of Jesus. 

Too often I get lost in the mourning of brokenness instead of rejoicing over the fragrance that it allows to come forth. We live in a fallen broken world. We don't get to choose whether we will be broken or not. Brokenness will be present in our lives until Jesus returns and makes all things new. But we do get to choose our response to brokenness. We do get to choose to focus on the vessel that was lost or to be overcome by the fragrance that is released. 

I was talking with my friend I stayed with on vacation about how hard this last year has been for me as I have gone through a season of brokenness. I went through a similar season five years ago, and I told her I didn't think I could do this again. I can't go through this every five years. What she said has been cycling through my mind since I got back. "Maybe God is allowing you to keep going through this because He wants to use that to minister to other people. Maybe He is equipping you to live with brokenness."

Maybe brokenness surrendered to God can be turned to blessing. Job's suffering brought him to a place where he spoke with God. The broken vessel allowed the fragrance to fill the room. Jesus' brokenness redeemed the world.