Being Finished: almost as good as finishing

There is a slight difference between finishing and being finished. Finishing something is incredible, especially when it is something that is difficult. There is this feeling of elation and success and joy and so many emotions all mixed together at the same time. Being finished is also an awesome feeling, but it's just different becuase there is a realization of something being over.

Two examples. I ran a half-marathon, and when I crossed that finish line I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry or shout or what, so all I could do was give glory to God. In that moment I felt so elated and overwhelmed all I could do is raise my hands in worship. I was so overwhelmed by doing something that I had considered to be impossible three months before that in that moment of finishing there really just aren't words to describe what I felt.

Today I was walking on campus and the thought of being finished just was really starting to come home to me. I was walking to my last final, and there were people moving out, and I was just struck by the thought that this is it. I think somehow I feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow and everything is going to be just like it has been. I'll go to work and class and then I'll walk upstairs at PoHo and see D and L sitting at the checkerboard table and peek into the office and chat with K. That Sunday will roll around and there will be C3 and then dinner at K's.

But that's not going to happen. Today I'm going to pack, and I'll wake up tomorrow I'll leave. PoHo is closing tonight for the next several weeks until they start summer hours. D has already left. L leaves tomorrow. K will still be here, but I won't. Sunday will roll around and I'll be going to Emmanuel. There will not be "family" dinner again at K's until August. And tomorrow morning I will wake up and I will officially be a senior in college.

Finishing is that moment of elation. Being finished is the realization that it's over. This chapter is done. I had my moment of finishing when I handed in my last final and left. Now I'm dealing with being finished, and it is bittersweet. I don't want to leave my friends. I don't want what we have shared this semester to end. At the same time I am so happy that this year is over. I have one hard class left in my entire year next year. That has given me a drive to get through these last two of semesters. This has been a tough year, but a good one.

There is another element to being finished, though, and that is this: the realization that being finished with that means there is something new to be done. This morning as I was driving home from K's where I weathered the storms last night, I discovered that I was ready to start training for a marathon. There I was waiting for a light to change on Republic, and talking to God, and I felt this fierce determiniation rise up in me, and I said "Okay, God. Let's do this. Let's run a marathon."

The next thing to do in life is get a job. And then in August, I will come back for my last two semesters as an undergraduate student.