Random Ponderings

This was a very lovely weekend. I got to spend time with lots of friends, and I got to rest up. That in itself was wonderful. I don't remember the last time I had a 10 hour night of sleep. It was nice to be able to have nice long quiet times too. And then getting to spend time with friends was super fantastic. I got to see K twice, which was fun!! I also got to see D and we chatted for probably an hour and a half. I had some text conversations with friends who weren't in town. And I got to see L and K and C quite a bit which was wonderful.

There has been a lot of car troubles going around within the Crew. L totaled her car. B totaled his car. L got in an accident with her truck and is having problems with the tires. K got a windshield crack from a rock and a dented and cracked bumper from a raccoon. L hit a curb and no has to get a new crankshaft for his truck. I discovered that I have a cracked windshield, and the serpentine belt went out of my car two weeks ago. And K wrecked her car this last weekend. This is just insanity.

Through some talks that I had this weekend, I discovered another reason that I am not ready to be in a relationship. I am not ready to allow for the closeness of a relationship because when you get in a relationship, that demands a certain level of attachment. Attachment leads to the possibility of being hurt. And I'm not ready to be hurt in that way. There is too much other hurt and crap to deal with from other things. I do not need to add that into the mix.

Also I am an insecure person. I am working very hard at being secure in God's love, but at the end of the day, I am still a long ways from being able to just rest in His love. If I am secure in God and His love, then no matter what happens and who hurts me, I know it will be fine, but I'm not to that point yet.

Today is officially 10 weeks until K and I leave for St. Croix!! I'm super excited about that!!

I got to see H today for a while which was lovely!!

So all in all it was a very lovely weekend. Tomorrow I am applying for another job, and then I am buckling down to work. The parents have things for me to do.

Then Friday I'm heading back to SGF for the MP prayer meeting. :)

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