My Heart Is A Puzzle

I realized while I was driving home tonight that my heart was aching for something that I could not name. And then all of the other desires that I am intimately familiar with came up. And at the same time I was desiring my husband, my friends, my family, Heaven, my Beloved, and a thousand other things. I was just chilling out with Jesus and all of a sudden all of this came up...so as I am learning to do, I turned to Him with all these aching desires, and a questioning heart.

Why is it that when I'm just sitting with Jesu that my heart aches and all of my desires come to the surface?

I then realized that I am seeing lived out in my life something that I have just studied about in the Word up until this point. I am always drawn to the stories of Jesus' miracles because there always seems to be a common thread in them. Someone comes face to face with Jesus and in doing so has all of their desires exposed because that is what Jesus does. He exposes our hearts and the desires that dwell in them.

So that is what is happening with me. I am having all of my desires exposed in coming face to face with Him. And it is leaving me with a heart aching and waiting for Him to come and fill me up. That is the part of the miracles that hasn't been yet realized in my life. After Jesus exposes their desires, He doesn't just leave them hanging out there, but He meets them in that desire and satisfies it. I have yet to be satisfied. Yes, He satisfies me, but it is temporary...not the permanent satisfaction that I long for.

And here's the kicker...my heart is longing for something that I don't have and I don't even know what it is. Yeah...my heart is such a puzzle. Good thing God has me all figured out, cause I wouldn't have any idea of where to even start.

Right now I am learning to abide in God's presence...basically what that means is that I am sitting with Him a lot...I know that He is growing me and teaching me things through this and that He is drawing me closer to Himself through this, but I'm a difficult case...I'm still not a patient person...so we are working on that too.

Here Comes the Sun
Thanks H!!

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