Growth in Desert Seasons

I had a mini breakthrough today when I was running. Nothing major just a small realization that nearly brought me to tears.

I have been feeling very dry in my walk with God lately. Kind of like I know He's there, but I can't feel Him. Usually when I run I have amazing prayer times, and even that has been dry. All of this is just kind of frustrating.

What else is frustrating is that I feel like I'm still learning the same exact things I was learning a year ago. Why haven't I gotten it yet?!?!

And then today I ran 5 miles. It was a good run, but once again, it just felt really dry. Then in the last half mile I was just crying out to God.

I have begun to pray that God would let me see as He sees and feel what He feels. As I was praying this today I had my realization. That's what this last week was. I felt like God feels. My heart was broken for the lost. My heart was wounded in so many ways by people close to me when they didn't even realize it.

This is how God feels every day. When we turn our backs on Him, when we ignore Him, He is hurt. His heart is broken for those who do not acknowledge Him. He desires to draw near to us, but we wound Him and don't even realize that we have done it.

This last week God let me taste what it is like to see as He sees and to feel as He feels.

Where I failed miserably is in how I reacted to all of this. I became angry and hurt and defensive and shut people out and lashed out at them. That is not how God reacts. When He draws near and we wound Him, He remains there with arms open. When He is wounded, He just continues to wash over us with love and grace.

Oh Lord, teach me to be like you!!!


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