Diamonds...in the rough parts of life

Today has been quite the day. I have been going basically steady since I woke up at 7:52 this morning and realized that I was running late for my 8 AM meeting. As I sip my coffee, laced with a touch of rum cream, I'm contemplating all that happened today, and attempting to process.

God has reminded me of many things today, but those reminders have come in the midst of some difficult stuff. My friend blogged about decisions and how a decision requires a choice, a willful choosing of one path over another. Right now I am being faced with a choice to believe God or not to believe Him. To believe that He is good and working for my good or not to believe that.

My head wants to believe, but my heart is rebelling as it tells me time and time again that it is not satisfied with what it has. Bottom line: my heart is longing for my husband. But piled on top of that are multiple other layers. There is the layer of the future and what that holds (or doesn't hold). There is the layer of finances (or lack of finances). There is the layer of desiring to make a difference in my world. There is the layer of friendships.

All of these questions welling up inside of my heart, and no answers except a call to decide if I believe what God says or not.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Beloved all that I need
Radiant and Ruddy
Your speech is so sweet
One and Only

Cuz my dove-eyed God
Is singing me love songs
He's showing me His will in my life
Lord, please protect my heart
Don't let it get out of your pocket
Lord, I give you all my heart.

This is a song written by two dear friends of mine. It's a song that was written for me (well, this part anyway). Tonight was the first time I heard them sing it in a long time, and it spoke directly to the part of my heart that most needed to hear it at that moment.

My God is Faithful! He has dove-eyes. He sings over me, rejoicing loudly. He is working. He is moving. He has not forgotten me nor has He forsaken the desires of my heart. He knows exactly what I need, exactly when I need it, in exactly the manner I need it.

This was just one of the little reminders that God has given me today to let me know that He is still there. Don't get me wrong. My heart still hurts. I'm still in just as much of a conundrum as I was before, but I have made my decision. I came to the fork in the road, and to quote Robert Frost: I, I chose the one less traveled by.

I have chosen the less traveled path of faith, and I will not turn around or look back, because I have a dove-eyed God who is calling me onward.

Comments

  1. Connally19 November, 2009

    Awww, I love you so incredibly much, my dear friend! And I'm glad that song warmed your heart! Without your smiling face, I never would have gotten through singing in front of so many people.
    And to take the less-traveled road is way scary, but so worth it after all is said and done. And I know God's got your back; He has this funny (though somewhat irritating) tendency to answer your needs in an unexpected manner. I'm always here if you need a coffee date and to word vomit. Love you much!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hannah Elizabeth23 November, 2009

    how fun to come back to the blogging world and see this waiting for me. I love you so much! I want to pray....and just....yeah....yesterday and today were just what I needed. let's just never be apart again.


    needy much?

    ReplyDelete

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