It's late

It's late...I wonder how many of my blog posts contain those words...and here I am once again posting a blog late into the morning. And I do have a 6 hour drive and a million things to do today...sigh. Ah well...it was worth it.

I find it interesting that no matter how much my heart aches, I never seem to get used to the feeling. And it was aching pretty good tonight. How is it that when I am surrounded by people I love, and good company and fantastic music that I can still feel so alone and aching inside.

Now that didn't stop me from having my bit of fun my last night in SGF, but several times tonight, I thought I might have to go find somewhere to have a private moment and cry my tears out.

I asked H tonight what it was about music that is so attractive. She responded with a quote which I won't attempt to replicate, but the point of said quote was that music is the language of the soul. It speaks directly to the heart. It bypasses words which are imperfect and cannot explain the best moments of our lives, and it speaks directly into that place that cannot be described with words. It's kind of like putting an IV directly into the blood stream instead of taking a pill which must first be digested. It's the fastest route into the heart.

That's probably why this evening was so difficult for me at points...the music was speaking directly to my soul, and causing me to long for more. More what I'm not exactly sure.

This is the best that I could come up with to describe what is going on in my heart right now. I feel like my heart is searching for the song that it already knows the lyrics to, but it can't sing along until they start playing. It's like if the song started playing I could sing along, but I can't just start singing it. I long for the music to complete my soul.

Well, I'm gonna take my achy soul and my musical mess to Jesus once more, and then get some sleep before my day officially starts.