remarks on Valentine's Day

*Note: These are remarks connected to the day of Valentine's not the movie Valentine's Day, just so we are all clear here.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day--a day that I have always looked forward to with fear and loathing. Fear because I don't want to be alone and loathing because (you guessed it) I don't want to be alone. I don't really mind being alone exactly. I have come to a peace with that at this time in my life, but I mind being alone on a holiday that (regardless of what everyone says) is about couples.

Honestly now, let's face it...Valentine's Day is about couples. That perhaps is not what it is supposed to be about, and perhaps that is not what it historically is about, but when we get right down to it, whether we like it or not, whether we believe that's the way it should be or not, that IS the way it is. Why else do single people always seem to dread this one specific day of the year?

All of that aside, after 21 years I seem to have come to peace with Valentine's Day. That doesn't mean that I am overjoyed for the day, and that doesn't mean that I am going to look forward to it every year, but merely that I am at peace about Valentine's Day.

I wrote in my journal last night that it was a good day, but that there was still this one little piece of me that wanted this year to be different, that wanted this year to be the one that was special. It wasn't, not in the way that I wanted it to be. And that makes my heart ache a little. My heart longs for something more...which seems to be a recurring theme in my life.

I hope you all did something yesterday that made your heart happy. I know I did...and there will be a post about that when I have more time.

Until next time...peace out yo!

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