endings are just new beginnings

I recently graduated...well, one week ago today. And while that was super exciting and fun, now I am left in some mild confusion. What's next? I know that I'm going to graduate school in the fall, but what about between now and then?

I have a lot to do this summer. That's not the problem. Potter's House stuff and moving and motorcycle class and other fun things I want to get done will fill my time suitably. But I'm talking about something other than filling my time.

Kudos to Grandma for her great photorgaphy skills

I guess what it comes down to is the same question I have been wrestling with since I was in high school: What do I want to do with my life? And what am I going to do until I figure that out?

This has just really been hitting home this week because I finally have time to think about it, I am finally at a point emotionally where I can think about it, and I am applying for jobs which means I need to think about it. I feel adrift. This is part of the reason I chose to go to grad school. It gives me another couple of years to think about the rest of my life. It's buying me more time so to speak.

I think part of the problem is I don't have one thing that I specifically want to do or think I would be exceptionally good at. I can do anything I set my mind to--both a blessing and a curse. In looking for a job, I have had to look back over all my other jobs. Everything I have done to date is unskilled labor...meaning anyone could do it. The problem is that unskilled labor while it pays the bills doesn't embrace who I am as a person, it doesn't fully utilize my gifts, abilities and talents, it doesn't require more of me.

Which is where I ran into my problem. What kind of job would I get where I would be able to fully utilize my skills, abilities and talents? I can tell you the job I want above any other: to be a wife and mom. Sadly, that's not a job you can just apply for...there are no signs that say: Now Hiring Wives. That's the job that I am perfect for. It's the job that I've been in training for my whole life.

What's a girl to do then? The only thing I can...lean into God and rest in the knowledge that He is bigger than all of this. His plan is perfect, and He is always right on time.

Wow...this wasn't really the direction I was expecting this blog post to go in...sorry for the word vomit.

I should probably stop listening to Train for a while, but just for kicks and giggles here's a fantastic song by them.

Marry Me - Train

Peace and Mercy

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