every once in a while

Dark Sunglasses

I pass you on the sidewalk.
Don't look me in the eyes.
I can't lie.
My eyes are
windows to my soul.
You can see my heart,
if you care to look.
But only if I let you in.

This is a poem I wrote for my English class this semester. I was thinking about how when I walk on campus I feel vulnerable because people can see my eyes. Normally I don't have a problem with people looking me in the eye.

However, when I walk on campus I generally tend to have conversations with God which is always when I am at my most vulnerable, when I have my walls completely down. I always feel like if someone were to look me in the eyes they would see straight into my heart.

So I like to hide...behind big, dark sunglasses that cover most of my face. I like to hide my heart from people. I'm always afraid if I let people see my messiness that they won't like me, understand me, accept me. I don't like people to see the pain in my heart, so I hide it. I don't like people to see me as anything other than what I portray to them.

At least that's how I used to be. I still am sometimes, but I am so much better than I used to be. Every once in a while though, I like to put on my dark sunglasses, and hide my heart and my eyes from the world.