ponderings about love

I have been back to pondering love lately. Yesterday when I was praying about a specific situation I had a verse from 1 Corinthians 13 stick out in my mind: "It [Love] keeps no record of wrongs."

I was thinking about how I don't do this. When people hurt me, I keep track of it. I mark it down in my little file I keep in my mind, and I remember what they did or said that hurt me. I keep my "wronged" record.

That is so unhealthy for my relationships. It doesn't help anything, and it just flavors my relationship with that person. It changes it and adds a dynamic that wasn't there before. And it isn't something that I like about myself.

I don't want to keep a file of all the ways people have hurt me. I want to live each day with the fresh, healthy love of one who hasn't been hurt...a mature love that understands I can't control (nor am I responsible for) other people's feelings and emotions. I can only control my own. I want to make the choice each day to love with reckless joy.

Because my life is not my own. My love is not my own. I am only a vessel and a conduit. I want to live without a record of wrongs because that is the way Jesus lived. I want to love with His extravagant love.

Peace and Mercy.

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