processing

There are times when I am a slow processor. It can take me a while to figure out what I really think and feel about a situation. Granted there are times when I just know right away (such as deciding to drop grad school), but for as many of those times there are an equal or greater amount of times where I have to sit down and spend time working through things. Sometimes processing just means giving myself time - sometimes it means really thinking and working through things.

I am considering moving away from my dear SGF...it's just for a year, but it's still a really big decision. This last week, I went up to NE to visit the children's home I am considering working at. It was a kind of exhausting trip. A change in my sleeping schedule contributed to that--it's been a while since I have gotten up at 6am. And the day that I came back was long and exhausting in itself. Granted there were a lot of fun things piled into that day, but it was still a 22 hour day. I didn't have a chance to catch up until today when I finally had a nice, long sleep.

My soul has felt raw, and I can tell God is at work on me again. It's the feeling of being stretched and chiseled and molded and shaped and etched. It's the feeling of a waiting season. Yep, I'm sitting here waiting again. And I am strangely at peace. The deep peace that comes from God alone.

I know that no matter what happens next God's got me. There have been a lot of emotions associated with my thoughts on this move and job opportunity. I think I have finally processed through most of what I'm feeling, and I have arrived at a place of surrender and peace. I will go wherever God calls me to go. My life is not my own. And at this moment I am called to wait, so I'm waiting on God's guidance.

In the meantime, I am enjoying life, enjoying Springfield, and enjoying my lovely friends. I'm realizing how precious time is, and so I am making the most of every moment.

Peace out yo!