we need you

I read an article that a friend posted on twitter today, and it made me equally furious and sad. It was an article from the NY Times about men and women in our society, and how women no longer need men. It talked about how women don't need men to reproduce or raise children, and how although historically men were the breadwinners in the family that's not really the case any more. So essentially this article is saying that men are no longer necessary for any part of a woman's life. My greatest point of disappointment came when I realized that the article was written by a man.

As a single woman reading that I was disappointed in women who believe this. I was disappointed in women who have not realized how necessary men are to our lives. I was disappointed in women who are not encouraging the men around them. 

I am something of an old-fashioned girl. I still believe in romance and in being wooed and won by a worthy man. I still believe in a family that consists of a husband and wife who share in the responsibility of child-rearing. That's why reading articles like this sadden me so much, because as difficult as it is for me to admit, my thoughts used to line up fairly close to the sentiments expressed in this article. 

I was a strong, independent, confident woman who could take care of myself and didn't need a man to look after me or take care of me. I had it all figured out and all men did was complicate my life and confuse my plans. They made my life difficult, so I threw up my hands and said, "I don't need them."

Then something happened. I didn't fall in love. I didn't get in a relationship. I didn't get married. But I did have my eyes opened. I saw a deep bitterness in my heart toward men, a bitterness that I still don't understand how it got there, but it was a deep-seeded bitterness and mistrust of men. 

Let me just shoot straight with you for a minute. There are women out there who I would consider to have legitimate rights to mistrust and be bitter toward men (I'm not saying I think they should because I believe that bitterness will only lead to the destruction of yourself). However, I am not one of those women. I grew up with an amazing Godly and loving father. I have had no traumatic experiences with men that should have resulted in what I felt toward them. I just felt it. 

Once I dealt with my bitterness, I was able to look much more clearly at my relationships with men. I was blessed to discover the presence of some awesome men in my life, something I am still realizing as a blessing more and more every day. It was a long journey with some bumps along the way, but today I can say that I have gone from saying I have no need of men to saying I need men in my life very much. 

To the amazing men in my life (if you are reading this), you make my life better by being in it. Your presence in my life brings strength to me physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I depend upon your strength because I am a strong and capable woman, but I can't be that without your support. You are so very necessary to my well-being as a woman, and I know I don't say that nearly often enough. Thank you for being strong men who embrace your masculine callings. Thank you for standing firm in a society and world that overlooks and under appreciates you and your influence. Please continue to stand firm because I as a woman need you. I would humbly say that we women all need you.