Honeymooners
My love and I were at game night with some of the young adults at our church last night. They were all giving us a hard time because of how sweet and lovey-dovey we are with each other. We say sweet things to each other and sit close to each other. "Oh, you're definitely not married!" they tease. This is what everyone says, that the "honeymoon" phase wears off and then you become just like every other couple.
But something deep in my heart cries that it doesn't have to be that way, that I don't ever want to lose the "honeymoon" phase. Perhaps this is naive and unrealistic, but I think maybe there is more to it than that. This isn't about me not wanting to grow up into the fullness of the relationship. I want to face difficulties and challenges as a couple. I want to go through the good of life as well as the bad, together.
Since I started dating this wonderful man, I have grieved the loss of two grandpas, celebrated the birth of a niece, endured the difficulty of a 1000 mile relationship. We have both changed jobs. He has changed careers. I have moved twice. I have had to re-establish community in a place where I knew almost no one, twice. We have both had to deal with fears and personal challenges.
That's a lot to face in the first year and a half of relationship. And we are still lovey-dovey. We aren't this way because we haven't experienced life with each other. We are this way because this is the way we choose to be.
I choose to guard and fight for the sacred in the midst of the ordinary. This is what savoring life and finding joy is all about, finding the beautiful and sacred moments in the challenges and monotony of everyday life. This is a choice that we get every morning when we get up.
Being affectionate, being caring, being loving, these are choices. We choose our actions. As every couple gets to know each other better they get to choose what they do with that knowledge. It can lead to loving each other better. It can lead to contempt and nit-picking. What it leads to is determined by our choices. And I choose to be a honeymooner, now and always.
But something deep in my heart cries that it doesn't have to be that way, that I don't ever want to lose the "honeymoon" phase. Perhaps this is naive and unrealistic, but I think maybe there is more to it than that. This isn't about me not wanting to grow up into the fullness of the relationship. I want to face difficulties and challenges as a couple. I want to go through the good of life as well as the bad, together.
Since I started dating this wonderful man, I have grieved the loss of two grandpas, celebrated the birth of a niece, endured the difficulty of a 1000 mile relationship. We have both changed jobs. He has changed careers. I have moved twice. I have had to re-establish community in a place where I knew almost no one, twice. We have both had to deal with fears and personal challenges.
That's a lot to face in the first year and a half of relationship. And we are still lovey-dovey. We aren't this way because we haven't experienced life with each other. We are this way because this is the way we choose to be.
I choose to guard and fight for the sacred in the midst of the ordinary. This is what savoring life and finding joy is all about, finding the beautiful and sacred moments in the challenges and monotony of everyday life. This is a choice that we get every morning when we get up.
Being affectionate, being caring, being loving, these are choices. We choose our actions. As every couple gets to know each other better they get to choose what they do with that knowledge. It can lead to loving each other better. It can lead to contempt and nit-picking. What it leads to is determined by our choices. And I choose to be a honeymooner, now and always.
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