Something Beautiful

Yep...that's right...I am longing for warmer days and the sun...a warm spring sun, not the cold winter sun. I think part of my longing has to do with the fact that I have been cold almost all day. No particular reason why...oh, except maybe the fact that its WINTER! I remembered a conversation that I had with an acquaintance one time about winter and spring. He said that it is important to have a spring attitude in the middle of winter. What is a spring attitude, you ask? Well, it is that delightful feeling you get inside when the temperatures begin to warm, and when you can smell spring coming and when the trees start to bloom again, and when you see the first flower of spring. That peaceful, restful, contented and happy feeling that just wells up from somewhere deep inside of you just because it is spring. That, my friends, is a spring attitude. And this person said that that is how we should act in the dead of winter. I appreciate the challenge that it presented to me, and at th...

I am incredibly blessed. I was going to blog about this yesterday, and I forgot, but I want to blog about it now...even though I need to be reading a 60 page paper to summarize for tomorrow. I also just got off the phone and received some disappointing news, and I feel like I need to be reminded of how blessed I am. The reason that I realized yesterday that I am blessed is because of something we discussed in my relationships in today's families class. We were talking about gender roles, and the professor was talking about how women complain that men don't share their feelings and how they just want them to be more open with their emotions, but that when they are we freak out and wonder what's wrong with them. I realized that I was blessed because of two things. One is that God has given me male friends who aren't afraid to cry in front of me and other women. They are open, and they aren't ashamed of who they are. I have seen so many of my male friends cry, and when...

I like quiet moments...and I need one just now because I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment...and I need to chill before I go to Human Sexuality...and I haven't even had coffee yet...scary! Anyway...I love accomplishing things. One of the most fun things to do is to mark things off of a to-do list...crossing off that last pesky thing gives me just such a sense of satisfaction at having accomplished something (whether it is important or not). Of course if it is important that just makes it that much better. So today I have been marking things off the list...I find it ironic that I am talking about this because a dear friend blogged about this not long ago...but in a different context. I just feel so accomplished right now. I just got my degree audit straightened out, so it now says that I am set to graduate...that I have fulfilled all my requirements... Then I went and got my grad school application straightened out, so it is officially submitted because I have paid the applic...

I have been greatly enjoying a chill day, and yet I have also accomplished a lot of things that needed to be done. I finished my grad school application...Praise Jesus! I pretty much have my first poem for poetry class finished. I took letters to the mail. I checked on a dentist so I can start getting all the dental work done that needs to be done before May. I helped clean PoHo. And I laid in bed until about 11 o'clock this morning...yep...I had a very lazy morning. I probably woke up around 9:30 or 10, but I was just so warm and cozy in my blankets that I couldn't make myself get up. Then I had a lovely quiet time...probably one of the best I've had in a while. I need to finish up some homework and get ready to go to a sister meeting tonight. I feel so incredibly blessed today, and it's strange nothing really happened to make me feel that way...I just do. Maybe I am just realizing how wonderful it is to enjoy the simple joys of life. Anyway...last night I was at that ...

Mars Hill started up tonight...so wonderful!!! And so we studied Acts 17 which is where the name Mars Hill came from. We started reading the passage, and I was struck by something in the first verse we read...verse 16: " While Paul was waiting for them in Athens... " The passage continues on to talk about how Paul witnesses to the Epicurean and Stoic philosophers about Jesus and His death and resurrection. The end result of his speech is summed up in verse 34: " But some of them joined him and became believers, including Dionysius the Areopagite and a woman named Damaris, and others with them. " This is what really hit me. All of this happened while Paul was waiting. He was waiting for some of his friends to join him, but he wasn't about to let this time go to waste. Instead what did he do? He wandered around Athens, he learned about the people and their culture, and he allowed God to use him in that place to spread His word. Here's the other thing. If Paul...

This morning I was talking with God about something I am struggling with. I was telling Him that I just don't have strength to fight, strength to deny myself. And He told me that it isn't the strength I lack, but the trust. Then He showed me this picture. We are ice skating, and we are in sync, but He wants to lift me. And I don't trust Him enough, so whenever He tries to lift me, we end up falling (because trusting your partner is essential to doing lifts while ice skating or dancing or anything like that). Yes, WE end up falling. My lack of trust not only ends up with me laying on the ice, hurting, but also I hurt Him in the process. But like any good partner, He keeps pulling me back up and soothing me and telling me that I can do it. This morning, though, He told me that I have a decision to make. Then He gave me another picture. It's like we are dancing, but I keep trying to lead, and I'm pulling my own way. We aren't in sync, and we step on each others toe...

I dislike when people just assume things about me. There are probably a handfull of people who actually know me, so when people think that they know me and they don't it just kind of pisses me off. I like talking to people because they are like puzzels, and I love when I figure the puzzel out. I love putting the pieces together to form a more complete picture of who someone is. I love friendships with people for that reason of learning about who they are, but any relationship the other person must be willing to allow you to put the pieces together. I'm not saying I want to know the deep dark secrets of every single one of my friend's lives, but I do want to know what motivates them, why they make decisions that they make, what drives them to do things they do. And that does require getting past the surface level of life. I have an aquaintance (yes, I am willfully choosing to avoid using the word friend) who is unwilling to go past the superficial. This same person, however,...

My dream job...aside from being a wife and mother...is to work at Potter's House. For three years I have dreamed of being on staff at PoHo. Tonight, my dream has officially come true. I can now say that I have the best job ever...and I haven't really even started yet. I am so incredibly blessed. Have I mentioned lately that God is faithful, and that His plan is better than any I could ever dream up. Anyway...this is such a dream come true for me!!! :) Until next time...peace out yo! I love me some PoHo.

I have watched basically all of the Lethal Weapon movies in the last 2 days. If you can stand the f-bomb and some nudity, they are actually good movies. I've watched them several times in the past, but I hadn't watched them recently. After last week I just felt like I needed a chill weekend. So I've done nothing, but watch movies...and hang out with friends. Anyway, so I started watching the Lethal Weapons movies, and I realized something that I never really noticed before. Amid the usual rough and tough, shoot 'em up action there is an underlying theme about family. The first movie introduces us to Riggs, a Vietnam vet and cop who gets partnered with a middle aged husband and father of three. And they do not hit it off. Riggs is half crazy from loosing his wife in a car accident and is always looking for trouble. He has no family, no close friends, no one. But the most unlikely friendship springs up between him and his partner. As the progression of movies continues (t...

I sit here, sipping a lovely honey latte, and pondering...about words. Words have unimagined power to change and transform, and yet we throw them around loosely. We don't really think about the consequences of our words--I'd almost wager that if we did, we would start thinking before we speak. Think about it. Martin Luther King, Jr. started an entire movement and transformed the way a nation thought by his words. They still inspire us today. "I have a dream!" His words not only tell us about his dream, but challenge us to find our own dreams and pursue them. They challenge us to find something worth living for and give it our all. Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest speakers of all time, inspired a nation to continue to fight for something that it believed in, even though they were tired and weary. "Four Score and Seven years ago, our forefathers brought forth this great nation..." Everyone knows those words. He gave them a reason to keep fighting for a uni...

I was going to blog tonight, but I told myself that I wasn't going to blog about a certain thing, and that seems to be the only thing filling my mind this evening, so therefore...I am not blogging...past this point. Go enjoy a cup of coffee...or tea...or milk...or rum...or something... peace out yo!

I feel obliged to update this blog...it's almost like when I don't it feels neglected. Yes, I do enjoy assigning feelings to inanimate objects...call me crazy, but in an odd way I get joy out of it. I am really tired right now...5 hours of sleep coupled with a stressful and long day has just drained me. I started classes today, and I already have homework in most of my classes. I am worried that my senior research is going to require a lot more time and effort than I had originally thought. Add to that the fact that every professor seems to think it is their job to make their class sound like the hardest class you can take. Add to that stress about jobs and grad school stuff. And basically you get my current frame of mind. I realized this morning how excited I am about the possibility of grad school and teaching. I was praying and I told God that I almost didn't want to give this up to Him because I'm afraid He won't give it back. However, I want His will more than ...

Here I sit in my room surrounded by a huge mess that is begging me to clean it up and put it away...such is unpacking. However, I thought I might put it off for just a bit as I write this. A few thoughts... I love my church family. We had our last Sunday service today...yes, my church is officially dissolving...and yes, it makes me sad. However, the timing is right in my life for what God has called me to. I no longer have anything standing between me and what I am supposed to be doing. Today was special. We had our service at a church member's house, and then we had fellowship and lunch. After lunch I just enjoyed watching everyone interact and enjoy one another. You know the friends that you can be apart for an extended period of time and then pick right back up where you left off...that's my church family. My heart swelled from all the love and joy that surrounded me. What a blessing they all are in my life. H, you were missed!!! Another thought that I had yesterday. I think...

I greatly dislike (hate is probably too strong of a word) saying good-bye...and I am nostalgic about the oddest things. Case in point: I removed an airline checked luggage tag from a bag tonight as I was packing to go back home. It was from July 29th...2008. That was the day I flew back from London. Yes, I had yet to remove the tag off of my bag from a year and a half ago. And when I tore it off, I realized when it was from and my heart was a little sad to see it go in the garbage. You see what I mean by I'm nostalgic about the oddest things. Tearing off that tag and throwing it away was like saying good-bye to a little piece of my heart. I realize that sounds kind of crazy, but that wasn't just a luggage tag. It represented 7 weeks that changed my life. It represented independence and freedom. It represented adventure and a spreading of my wings. I'm sure I attach too much meaning to meaningless things, but that's just the way I am, I guess. I have shoe-boxes full of l...

Question: Why don't we say what we mean? I mean, what is it that holds us back from saying what we really think and feel? Is it fear or is it society or is it just that we are so well trained that we know how to filter everything that goes through our minds? I have ever once truly said what I was thinking...and with any luck I will never go through one of those experiences again, but there was something incredibly refreshing in actually saying what I was thinking - unfiltered. Don't get me wrong, if you ask my opinion about something I will be honest...even to the point of brutality...but I will usually filter what goes through my mind first. Before I get off track though... I watched (500) Days of Summer tonight, and while there were moments when I questioned why I was watching it, I realized that one of the biggest problems in relationships today is communication. People don't communicate with each other...not like they really should. We aren't open and honest from th...

Tonight was movie night. Pops has my dear Trudy fixed up once again, so I decided to take her for a spin to the video store where Poppy and I picked up three movies. We watched two of them--Julie & Julia and UP! And not only did Julie & Julia inspire me to blog as well as buy Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking , but they both also had a common theme that I am pondering over in my mind. That theme is dreams, adventures, living. Julie & Julia is about chasing after something. Doing something that to give meaning to your life and changing yourself in the process. UP! is about having dreams and chasing after them, wherever they may take you--even to Paradise Falls. What I loved about UP! was that it had a much deeper theme than just chasing after your dreams. It showed how sometimes we need to let dreams go, sometimes we need to embrace a new dream. And sometimes what we thought we wanted wasn't what we really wanted at all. I think about my dreams, the...

Here we are only 4 days into the New Year, and alreday I am starting the scary and challenging process of making decisions about the future...I thought I would be able to put this off for a couple of months, but here I am faced with choices. I think I'm applying to grad school. Ahhhh!!! So scary...and I need to find out when I can take the GRE...also scary!! Then I need to start preparing to interview for a teaching assistantship...Ahhhh!! My stomach is in about a million knots right now thinking about it, and yet my mind is racing and super excited...I think that means I'm in the right place. And when I get home in 5 days I need to start looking for a job...when does life slow down...I don't want it to start again already...I'm still on vacation. Well, ready or not, here life comes at a high gallop and I can either swing up on that horse or let it run me over...so I think I'm gonna pull a Legolas and take off. Oh, and my dad is contemplating going to grad school......