Something Beautiful

Jamais Vu - when doing something normal, ordinary, and usual seems strange, foreign and unusual to you. We talked about this in my abnormal psych class tonight. What an interesting thing. When doing something you do all the time seems unusual to you. I've definitely experienced that before...it is such a weird sensation. We also talked about this girl who had 200 different personalities...yeah...that was interesting. Half of the class period I had a bloody nose and was trying to get it stopped without leaving or causing a scene. I haven't had a bloody nose in a long, long time, so it was kind of weird that I got one today. I hate being sick. And when I am sick, I turn into a baby. I don't want to do anything or be anywhere. I just want to be taken care of. However, today I did a lot. I finished the sleeping beauty costume...finally...I got everything worked out for the PoHo student organization so that we will be an active organization on campus...exciting!! I went to class...

I am exhausted...physically, mentally, emotionally drained. I have cried more in the last two days than I have in the last two months combined. Don't get me wrong...it's good tears, but at the same time it is just kind of emotionally draining. My body is worn out. Stress, running and little sleep are catching up to me and I'm now struggling with fending off sickness. I can't get sick now...I don't have time to be sick. Even though the conference is over, I still have waaaay too much to do to be ill. Mentally I am super tired. Being physically tired and emotionally drained has lead to mental exhaustion as well. Hopefully a good night's sleep and some good quiet time will rectify that situation. The conference was really good. I felt like I was only half there for the entire day, but it was good. I cried a lot because my heart was very tender and sore. The board of directors and I went out to dinner with the speakers on Friday night when they got in, and I ended u...

Here's a little ditty I wrote for my English class today. IB Designs is a little jewelry shop on a street I don't remember the name of in Christensted on the island of St. Croix. I have been in the shop 3 times, but the only time I bought something there was the first time I went in. I bought a plain, simple, sliver bracelet. The island is famous for their bracelets. The bracelets have a solid bangle with a clasp of some kind. The traditional braclet has a "C" clasp which stands for Cruzan, what the residents call themselves. The clasp on the bracelet I bought is a circle. It is called the Circle of Life bracelet. I was only planning to buy one bracelet, that's all I could afford. I picked this one because of the circle. A circle is a perfect shape. It has no corners; it has no points. A circle never ends. It's the ony shape that doesn't. It continues forever in one long glorious arc. Eternity never ends. It stretches out forever before us. Day to day, wee...

I feel like ever since I made the decision to live a life of faith, that I have had none or very little. I do realize that when I made a decision to live a life of faith that God took me up on that and so immediately started to test my faith in order to strengthen it. I kind of feel like it has been stretching my faith (side note: I just typed fiat when I was starting to type faith and it made me laugh a little. hehe), and it's been difficult. When I was running this morning, I feel like I passed a threshold in my training. 7 miles felt like a warm up. When I got to the turnaround for 14 miles, I felt like I had another mile in me and decided if I was going to go for 15, I might as well do 16. I literally went the extra 2 miles. And it felt amazing! I just decided that if I would run those two miles, God would meet me in that, and He completely did. He is soooo faithful. This morning was the first morning I felt like I would be able to tackle the marathon. 26.2. That's a long f...

I wrote this on the top of my planner on Monday night after an excellent devo where a beautiful sister reminded me that I need to slow down sometimes and just breathe. As crazy as this week has been, I needed the reminder. It was good because every time I looked at my planner and started to freak out about everything that needed done, I could just look at that and take a nice deep breath. However, today is the first day that I actually feel like I have time to breathe. I have nothing due today. I have nothing big going on except for a 12 hour prayer meeting which I am sooo looking forward to. 12 hours with God...what more could I ask for?!?! I took my econometrics test yesterday, and I really felt like I nailed it, so I really hope that I did. It was a good feeling to be taking a test in that class and not freaking out about it. I actually felt like I understood the material this time. How refreshing! I need to get ready and go in to work for a little while before prayer starts at no...

I am exhausted. I really need to be studying for my econometrics test that I have tomorrow, but I don't want to because it is late, and I am so tired I really just don't want to do anything. I had my first test and my first quiz of the semester today...I think they both went okay. I am ready to just have a couple days off from life. My planner looks like a child scribbled all over it because it is so full of notes of things I have to take care of. The last two days have been insane, and it isn't going to slow down any time soon. I am super discouraged tonight. The combination of several things just has me really down, and I was on the verge of tears earlier when K prayed for me. What a blessing that was right then. I am ready for it to be Monday, because that means I will be going to the chiropractor again, and he will fix my back and I will no longer be in pain. This is the problem with going to the chiro in the fist place. Before I went I never noticed the pain, but now t...

I don't have long to post this... but I'm overwhelmed by this day already... my life is insane... gotta go... safe!

This has been a lovely Sunday, and I'm looking forward to going to bed soon. At the moment I kind of feel like I'm on a treadmill in life, like I'm just getting things done on autopiolet. I want to wake up every morning and live life with intensity and passion, and I just don't feel like I'm there right now. This is my life: Run Class Clean Laundry GAL PoHo Homework Calm stressed people Sleep Repeat. I don't want to just go through the motions of day to day life. I want to really live! I found out today that I'm going to Mexico over Christmas Break, and I'm super excited and happy about that. I am amazed by how God answers prayers. Well...peace out home-fry...safe!

I started cutting up one of the huge watermelons that my parents brought me from my garden, and I just have to say I grow good melon...okay, so I had a little help. Still, super delicious! I had a great talk with L tonight. It was good to just chat for a little while. And it was nice to air so much of what has just been going around and around in my mind for the last several days. I am sick of coming up with plans for post-graduation. I have handed this all over to God, so I really hate that it just keeps running through my mind. Today, for instance, I added a new plan to the list. I received an e-mail about the TeachforAmerica program, and I decided it could be cool to apply for that program and move to Hawaii and teach...I don't even know what I would teach, but there it is. L suggested that I write all these ideas down and put them in a box so that when they continue to come up, I can just say that they are in the box. I came home early tonight, and I am planning on going to bed...

I haven't blogged in a few days...heck I haven't even logged on in a couple of days, which is both unusual for me and also a testament to how crazy life has been for the last couple of days. Today, however, has been a day for the record books. I have been so amazingly blessed today, and even now thinking about it, I kind of want to cry just because God is soooo Good!! Let's see...I went for a run this morning, and I was going to run 6 miles...it turned into 7. And the entire time I ran it was raining, which just has so much amazing meaning for me. I loved that God rained on me the entire time I was running. Also while I was running, I made the decision to live a life of faith...in every single part of my life. My finances, my personal life, my job, my future...everything. I want to live a life of faith and dependence on God. And I know that I'm going to have to continually repeat that to myself every day for the rest of my life, but I feel like a huge weight is lifted o...

I miss the islands mucho!!! I wish I could jump on a plane and be back there today. Yesterday I was sitting in Starbucks with my family and there was islands music playing and it made me happy. Today I came up with a fantastic idea...Bob Marley Pandora station...yep it happened! I ran 12 miles on Saturday. It was awesome!! My family was here and my mom was my support crew. She biked beside me most of the way and had fluids for me which made it much easier. I have never before ran 12 miles altogether, so it was pretty amazing. It was fun to spend the weekend with my family. We camped out Saturday night, Sunday, and I came back to SGF this morning after a 5-6 mile run. I am so excited to go to the chiropractor tomorrow...my back has been killing me for the last couple of days. I'm sure sleeping on an air mattress on the ground hasn't helped it any. I had a great talk with my parents last night. I'm a little nervous about what the future holds, but I know that God is going to ...

Buenos tardes! Como esta? Bien! Yes, I am supposed to be studying Spanish right now because I have class in 20 minutes, but instead I am sitting at my computer doing nothing that I need to be doing, but instead listening to music and watching the rainy day outside. At this moment I feel like all is right in the world. K is in the office exclaiming over the beauty of fonts. I'm about ready to go to class and learn more Spanish. I saw L leaving earlier. Later L and K and I will be at Art Fest helping with the MP and then we will have prayer. Later still my family will be here and tomorrow we will leave for family vacation. At this moment though, I am content and happy. Also I have an awesome story for you. God provides...always, 100% of the time, and in about 2 business days I will have an incredible gift of money from a scholarship that I received last spring, in the exact perfect timing that I needed it. And when I was filling out that scholarship form, I had no idea what-so-ever t...

I'm currently sitting in my favorite place in the world, sipping a delightful coffee beverage, listening to some good jazz and using this mildly rainy day to reflect. I went out for a run this morning, 6 miles, and as soon as I stepped out of my door I began to complain. It was cold and rainy, and I was just rather upset about the whole situation. As I ran, I just complained to God. All summer long when it was blazing hot outside I constantly asked God to rain on me when I ran. It never did. Even when I went out if it had been raining as soon as I stepped outside it quit. So now when it is 59 degrees outside it rains on me. As I ran farther, I thought about the rain, and then a Katie Bennett lyric started running through my head where she just repeats "Let it rain" over and over again. She is talking about an outpouring of God's Presence on us. Then it hit me. All summer long I was in a desert season. I knew I was in a desert season. God told me several times that I ...

Today's title comes from the Van Morrison Crazy Love which my friend, Lee Ellen Starks, sings amazingly on this video . So, so, so good!!! Anyway, it has been in my head a lot lately...not sure exactly why, but God is always amazing me with His crazy love. This day has been mildly insane to put it lightly. I didn't have class until 12:30, but I was on campus by 8:30. And I basically spent all day going from one thing to another. I had a double dirty chai this morning...which kind of just made my morning. I ordered a dirty chai, and when she gave it to me, she told me that she had accidentally put in an extra shot, so I ended up with a double...sigh. I worked nearly 4 hours today, and I found out that I will be getting a pay raise in the next couple of weeks because I am a team leader. Yay!! I got some posters put up for the MP conference...and I'm super stoaked about the conference. I had my first SI session tonight, and I realized that it is difficult to talk about my day ...