Something Beautiful

This was a very lovely weekend. I got to spend time with lots of friends, and I got to rest up. That in itself was wonderful. I don't remember the last time I had a 10 hour night of sleep. It was nice to be able to have nice long quiet times too. And then getting to spend time with friends was super fantastic. I got to see K twice, which was fun!! I also got to see D and we chatted for probably an hour and a half. I had some text conversations with friends who weren't in town. And I got to see L and K and C quite a bit which was wonderful. There has been a lot of car troubles going around within the Crew. L totaled her car. B totaled his car. L got in an accident with her truck and is having problems with the tires. K got a windshield crack from a rock and a dented and cracked bumper from a raccoon. L hit a curb and no has to get a new crankshaft for his truck. I discovered that I have a cracked windshield, and the serpentine belt went out of my car two weeks ago. And K wrecked...

I have always wanted to plant a veggie and flower garden. It is one of the things on my bucket list. So last night I was sitting in my room spending some time with Jesus, and my dad came in and asked if I would like to put a garden in because I'm "into natural things". I said sure, and today we got plants for the garden. We got some peas and beans and peppers and watermelon and pumpkin (I thought of you H) and squash and a blueberry bush and garlic and shallots and thai basil and several varieties of tomatoes. So I got to spend the day with my dad and then I came home and put in a garden. Here are a few of my thoughts from putting in the garden today. My favorite veggie from the garden is sugar peas...I love them. I love to pick them off the vine and shell them and eat them fresh like that. So delicious!! However, today I discovered that my favorite veggie is actually tomatoes for one very simple reason...the planting directions. The directions for planting a tomato say ...

I'm rather frustrated right now. Well maybe not at this exact moment, but in general I am pretty frustrated. I have applied for several jobs, and I have no job yet. I really need to get a job so I can start working and so I can replenish my savings account and pay for things...such as my summer vacation trip to VI. I'm also frustrated because I thought I had my schedule all figured out for next semester, and then they canceled one of the classes I was registered for, so now I have to find another class to take, and of course all the ones I want to take are filled up or I have to have a prerequisite that I don't have. I'm also frustrated because I want it to be August already, and it isn't. I'm also frustrated because I went out to run in the rain, and then the rain pretty much stopped....so disappointing. I'm also frustrated because of the wireless internet at my parent's house. For some reason my computer and the wireless have issues and don't alway...

I love coming back to visit...especially when I get to surprise people I haven't seen in almost a year. I love coming to a place where the people have watched me grow up and become the person I am. I love buying a drink from a bartender who I used to sit and watch jeopardy with. I love introducing people to the places I grew up at. And I love singing Benny and the Jets with K while joking about her dancing on the bar. Today we branded calves. I helped with giving the cows shots and then there were enough people that we, K and I, were not really needed, so we just stood around for a while before coming back and chilling out before going and eating the best cheeseburgers in the world and the best pie ever!! The Kozy Korner has the best pie that anyone could ever make!! And tomorrow morning my grandma is making us biscuits and gravy for breakfast!! My favorite!! :) And tonight we are going to go look at some stars later on, and hopefully some northern lights. Jesus, please give us som...

I'm in Montana for the weekend. Today, Tomorrow, then Monday we leave. I'm so glad that K is with me. We had a ridiculous time in the car on the way yesterday. It was so much fun!! We came up with all these ideas of videos we want to make, and we just had a lot of fun talking and catching up on girl time. I loved when we stopped at Wall Drug because we went in the travelers chapel and prayed for a while and it was really fun. I am so glad that God has a sense of humor and that He shares everyone's humor. There is almost nothing better than sharing a belly-laugh joke with a friend, and that is how God is about our humor. He always gets it!! It was nice to sleep in this morning, and it should be a fun filled day. I'm not sure I'm ready to go upstairs yet, though, so I think I'll have some quiet time and then attempt to start this day. Yay for Roadtrips!! :)

I'm a little bored. I cleaned my room and I started packing for the weekend and I did laundry and I ironed and I changed my sheets and I started porkchops marinating for supper and I did the dishes and emptied the dishwasher and started filling it again and I showered and yeah...I'm pretty much bored now. I'm also missing people, although it is not nearly as bad as it was yesterday. K told me yesterday that this summer God is really just going to show me so many new ways that He is going to satisfy that desire for companionship in me. I believe that, so now I'm just waiting for Him to start. I think I have watched every single video that D has made now, and that has made my life so much better...hilarious. I love that my "family" is staying in touch via videos...it just cracks me up...hopefully K and I will get a chance to make some this weekend. I pretty much love these songs right now: Let Me Love You More by Misty Edwards If You Don't Wanna Love Me by...

This has been the best morning that I've had in quite a while, but it really didn't start that way. I had a dream last night that I remember very well, and it was really much more of a nightmare than a dream. I woke up with my heart racing (not exactly the way one wants to wake up in the morning), and it was really bothering me a lot. However, I really feel like God was speaking to me through it because it lead me to Psalm 91. You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust." For He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence; He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, or the arrow that flies by day, or the pestilence that stalks in darkness, or the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at...

I feel better. Time with Jesus helps. Taking a shower helps. Calling ahead and finding out when businesses hold interviews helps. I'm going to apply at Chili's today, hopefully, assuming that I do not have any more car trouble. I'm also going to pick up some groceries and make supper tonight. I'm excited to cook for my family. :) So the result of my morning is that Jesus and showers help you feel better.

I like to always be prepared. It's kind of a life goal of sorts. I love that when anyone asks "Do you have..." that I can almost 100% of the time reply "Well, yes, actually I do." I think my actual percentage of preparedness probably lies around 95%. Yesterday, however, I was not prepared. I thought I was, but I never would have imagined the type of day that I had. I didn't get left when I wanted to. I broke a plate yesterday when I was trying to make myself a sandwich before I left to look for a job. Then I was on my way to go job hunting, and I got to basically the middle of nowhere and the serpentine belt went out of my car. So there I was on the side of the highway with nothing to do, and waiting for my dad to come rescue me, and there I stayed from about noon until we were finally able to drive my car home at about 6:45 yesterday evening. It was a very long day. And I was not prepared for it. So long story short, I did not get anything done yesterday th...

I have so many things to do today, but here I sit in the quiet of my room. M and K have gone to work. D is out and about somewhere. I really just want to go back to bed, but I really need to get going. So I'm stuck in this place where I'm not quite ready to start this day and so here I sit, trying to get ready to start the day. I have a pond in my back yard. It wasn't there yesterday morning, but there it is today complete with an island that has a weeping willow tree on it. My dad is pretty amazing cause he built that pond yesterday. Yesterday I applied for a job in the morning, and then I went and spent most of the day with Jesus at IHOP (not the pancake place, but the International House of Prayer). I also got to see K and H which was like balm for my soul. At one point during the day I got a picture text of the crew and almost started crying. It was such an awesome quiet time, though. I already want to go back. I also went to the prophecy room, and God told me some amaz...

There is a slight difference between finishing and being finished. Finishing something is incredible, especially when it is something that is difficult. There is this feeling of elation and success and joy and so many emotions all mixed together at the same time. Being finished is also an awesome feeling, but it's just different becuase there is a realization of something being over. Two examples. I ran a half-marathon, and when I crossed that finish line I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry or shout or what, so all I could do was give glory to God. In that moment I felt so elated and overwhelmed all I could do is raise my hands in worship. I was so overwhelmed by doing something that I had considered to be impossible three months before that in that moment of finishing there really just aren't words to describe what I felt. Today I was walking on campus and the thought of being finished just was really starting to come home to me. I was walking to my last final, and t...

All I need is love. "for God is love." 1 John 4:8 I have been super under attack lately, and the battle is wearisome. Even just this morning I have been asking God if He really does love me. I feel like in the past 24 hours the attacks have been intensified. As soon as I get with God, and I get alright, here comes something else. Last semester, my dad suggested that I get the book God as He longs for You to see Him by Chip Ingram just so I could read the chapter on Love. And it radically transformed the way that I look at God and His love. This morning as I was questioning whether God really loves me, I decided that it might be time for me to read that chapter again. Here are some quotes from this chapter: "When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection....Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life b...

Will someone please tell me that I'm done...please? But no I'm not. I still have two finals left. One is my worst one too. I have another in about an hour which I really need to be studying for right now, but I need to get some stuff out. I feel a little like my heart is breaking. Last night we had our last "family" dinner until August. I didn't want to leave because I didn't want it to end. I wish I could enter a time warp and stay there forever. God and I have been working on this, though, and I need to not cling to this. I need to hold it very loosely, and just cling to Him. The ache started coming back last night, and this morning is raging in full force. I just want someone to hold me tightly and tell me that they love me. I hate when I feel needy and clingy, and I don't want to cling to anyone but Jesus, so here I sit in the middle of this catch 22 waiting for Him to come and satisfy me, waiting for Him to wrap His arms around me and tell me that He ...

I found this verse this morning in church, and it inspired a laugh and a prayer: "for He gives sleep to His Beloved." Psalm 127:2 A laugh because I know it is true; He always gives me enough sleep. And a prayer beacues I feel like I need that in my life. Love, please give me sleep. My mom and dad came down and went to church with me today and then we went to my cousin's graduation. I'm about fed up with graduations. I have already been to three. However, today's was interesting because the commencement speaker was Mike Huckabee. Yeah...it was awesome!! It was fun to get to spend Mother's Day with my mum, and I was super happy that my dad got to go to church with us. My sis and I gave Mum a fire pit for Mother's Day, so I'm really looking forward to getting to use that this summer, and I was super happy that we got it for her because it was something that she really wanted. Score! I also got to take my family to PoHo even though it wasn't open. They...

Sometimes I really just wish that my body knew how to sleep. Like today. I have nothing to do. Everything that I had to do was this morning, and it was canceled because of severe weather, but instead of being able to sleep in, my body was wide awake after only probably 4ish hours of sleep. I physically feel tired, but I cannot sleep. I lay there with my eyes closed and don't fall asleep. I'm not sure why, and generally it doesn't bother me, but I didn't go to bed until about 4:30 this morning. Then I woke up several times because of the weather, but managed to stay in the sleepy stage for a while. Then when everything went insane around 8 I was up and now there is no sleep. I'm going to try for a nap this afternoon. Last night was super fun. Dinner at K's followed by a fire pit with s'mores for dessert. What a lovely evening after my last day of classes for the semester. It was so nice to just chill out and relax for the evening. I've been reminiscing a ...

I was listening to the radio today and this song came on and I think it should be the theme song of the PoHo Crew . This is how we are. When someone has a bad day we cheer them up. When our life is falling apart, there is someone to listen and help us put it back together. When my life is a mess, there is always someone there to help me sort it out. God made us this way. We are the body of Christ, and we each have a different function, and independently we will never survive. No man is an island is a famous John Donne quote, and it is true. God did not make us to be islands. My friend K had a bad surprise yesterday, and tonight we are having a GKH party to get her happy. K and I decided to surprise L and J and D last night with pineapple upside down cake, and it was a wonderful surprise. I loved getting to see the looks on their faces when we walked in with it. I decided today that I was going to surprise K with something nice, and I'm really excited about it. I love when God gives...

I'm almost done!!! Praise Jesus!! I have a group presentation tomorrow morning, and then I have to revise my short story for English class, and I'm finished except for finals. I love the end of the semester. However, I do not love the idea of leaving everyone. I know that most of us will be back in the fall, but I feel kind of like my heart is being ripped out of my chest at the thought of being away from everyone for so long. Yesterday at the ladies luncheon, K said that we all miss each other when we don't see each other everyday, and it is so true. I literally got to work this morning, and I already missed everyone, and it was only a little over 8 hours since I had seen them. There is something a little sick about that...that's pretty much just a good night's sleep...which is what I should be doing right now...8 AM class how I loath thee. I am praying desperately for God to prepare my heart for this summer, and I am enjoying each moment that I get with my friends...

I have a ring on my left hand to inform the world that I am reserved for my husband...yep. The subject of kissing came up tonight. Interesting topic, and I'm fairly opinionated about it. I'm going to a graduation in about 7 hours...so I need to get to sleep. PoHo dance parties are awesome!! :) Well...PoHo itself is just awesome!! I get to go hear the amazing Lee Ellen Starks tomorrow...life just can't get much better... Now I need some sleep. P.S. Jesus is amazing!!! :)

My paper is basically done...I have to proofread it tomorrow/today, and then I'm done. I love hearing the rain outside my window, and I'm looking forward to listening to it as I fall asleep. I am so ready to be done with intermediate macro. I'm babysitting in about 7 hours...I need to get some sleep. And tomorrow is going to be a semi-long day, but it will be a good one. :) I'm really going to bed now.